Archive for Weddings

Hail Loki! Thanks for the Husband!

Posted in About me, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 1, 2013 by Tyrienne
Wedding 2

Edward and the Author- the attractive Ginger is Edward 🙂

One year ago to the day of July 28th, I began dating my personal Helsman, Edward.  Since then, we pooled our resources created a place of worship within our home and have held gatherings/fainings/blots to the Gods that were closest to our hearts around once a month as well as a rune study.

Our two main goals were: 1. Hela Faining and 2.  Loki Blot.   We got engaged on the day of our Faining to Hela in October, and gave the promised Lokiblot as close as we possibly could to April 1st, including someone who brought their 4 year old named Loki (who was very confused we kept calling his name!)

So, on July 28th, 2013- Ed and I were married in a fully Heathen Pa Dutch based ceremony By Robert Schreiwer (our favorite Braucher, of the Troth fame) and our friend Brian Weiss (who has more religious certifications than anyone else I know).
ALL the Norse/Germanic/Latvian Gods who have touched our lives are represented on the beautiful altar Rob and I constructed-

Our Altar: The one rose given to Hela died- and afterwards, all were welcome to toss the flowers into the creek at the site with good wishes!

Our Altar:
The one rose given to Hela died- and afterwards, all were welcome to toss the flowers into the creek at the site with good wishes!

During the altar set up, a Raven stood on a dead branch directly above our Loki statue on the right for several minutes-  I croaked up to him and he replied back.  During the wedding itself- once we reached the altar I was told by Edward and others a giant black vulture flew to a low branch behind my back and mantled her wings for the entire ceremony- only to depart with our kiss to “seal the deal”.  Pictures of the Raven and Vulture did not come out well, sadly (if someone DID manage to get one of either- Let me know and I will add them to this post!)

Custom Ring by William Cougar designs.  Ed has the same one.  Silver alloy with Rhodium plating, two snakes with ruby eyes, and an onyx for fidelity. :)

Custom Ring by William Cougar designs. Ed has the same one. Silver alloy with Rhodium plating, two snakes with ruby eyes, and an onyx for fidelity.

If you are interested in attending our events; our events page on facebook is called “Freyja’s Hall” (We didn’t choose the name- Freyja wanted “in” on this.  We weren’t about to argue!  The Gods do not make the divisions between The Aesir, Vanir, Rokkr, and Jotunatru-  from what we have observed: humans do.)

Our next event is an open Thor Blot tentatively scheduled for September 15th at 4pm (if there are community conflicts, let me know)- To thank the Thunderer for allowing his mighty clouds to pass us by and to soak Bensalem instead of Wyomissing.

So, most of all, a big HAIL goes out to Loki- who brought us together- whose children continue to guide Edward and and to Loki Himself who is constant with his love, support, and gifts I could never repay- except to live well and Honorably in His name. (and in Tyr’s) as well as continue my work within the greater community as whatever-it-is-I-do (Blogger?  Gythia? Facebook commentator? Troth member?)

Yes, I know this is a day after “Loki’s Month”= but as a Lokean,  I am being “intentionally contentious” and ignoring your “rules”. intentionally.


(This is also why I spent so little time posting on this blog last month)


For Loki- Just a start, perhaps….

Posted in About me, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2013 by Tyrienne

…It has been a busy week, and this is the first opportunity and real time I have had to really compose my thoughts on what I wished to post-  In Darkbookworm13’s newest post, she drew a picture to honor Loki and it made me stop for a moment:

It was a rose on fire that did not burn.

See, when I first began dating my husband, I had a dream about Loki about a week to two in.  I had just come out of a seriously dangerous time in my life full of stress, intrigues, lies, and abuses that had me worn to my last thread at moments- and I made it through at the end.  In this dream, Loki sat down beside me infront of the college from which I had just graduated-  he apologized for not being there, because I was “too far gone” for me to hear Him even if He called me, and now that sanity was being restored we could talk once more.

He explained that the direction he first guided me to did not lead me to where he expected at all, and he apologized saying, “I can see many things, but I cannot see everything.  I can be many places, however, I cannot be everywhere at once.”  He looked truly remorseful and his arm was around me comfortingly.   I wasn’t even remotely upset with Him- it wasn’t His fault that things happened the way they did.  Even the most honorable of people can have their lives derail if they aren’t careful; and the very best of teachers can fall victim to their own egos and lose everything worth learning from them.  But I stuck it out.

Loki was beautiful- he had on a long dark coat, blue jeans, a white shirt, and bright red hair pulled back into a low tail- his face had a well-kept facial hair of a few days growth and a goatee.  From His coat, He pulled out a red rose on fire- but it did not burn, and He gave it to me as a gift and said,

“From now on, I will protect you from all things spiritual that intend to harm you, and because of what you suffered, I am also giving you Eddie to protect you on Midgard to protect you there as well.”

Eddie and I became engaged a few months later, and we are in the month-long process of marriage.  After seeing the picture on Darkbookworms post, I remembered I had a perfect rose on another altar- dried and preserved that was meant to be burnt.  I asked permission from that deity and received ambivalence in response… She had plenty of roses, She could spare one 🙂

So, I lit the rose on fire-  What I did not expect was the flame to turn flamingo-pink and spark like a sparkler that I could have bought today at any roadside stand- other flames to glow blue, framing each petal in a soft glow at other times-  the rose retained it’s shape throughout the burning until I decided to start separating the petals with a knife- as I did so- the flames grew a foot high, sparks continued to fly, and the wax from the old, dead candle under the rose sizzled and turned from red to clear.

I asked Ed to come and watch- and before he could enter the room- the entire thing EXPLODED- the table was unharmed, but he walked in just as I had filled a vase with water to douse our table which was now covered in tiny little flames.   I only used a small amount of Florida water to set the rose burning- but these flames in color and behavior were unique to behold and watch change.  Good thing I only paid a dollar or two for the glass holder- I suppose Loki wanted that as well!

Edward and I hardly ever “fight”- we talk things out like adults when we disagree- and as far as screaming matches go- I think we’ve only had one- on the side of Mount Penn as I fought him over some “guru” who lived in a mansion extorting a class of yoga students to pay for another expansion to his mansion.  (I was right, and the next morning he was too sleepy to attend the damned seminar anyhow!)

Today, we spent the day in the Mutter museum, where he bought me a beautiful cameo necklace of a skeletal lady in purple against black and pewter- the pewter perfectly matching the black rhodium of our wedding bands. Here is a picture of our rings-cell phone cameras are inadaquate to show them properly in their final form- with the black Rhodium coating without excessive glare.  They are two snakes with eyes of genuine untreated ruby wound around one another and set with a black onyx in the center.  The material is silver alloy with a black Rhodium coating- created by William Cougar, a jeweler I know in Jersey.  (he designed them by hand himself based on our description!  They turned out better than I could have imagined!)

Here are the rings prior to the Rhodium coating- I could not get a decent shot without glare with it.  Just imagine them shiny, iridescent, and black. :)

Here are the rings prior to the Rhodium coating- I could not get a decent shot without glare with it. Just imagine them shiny, iridescent, and black. 🙂

Purchased from the Mutter Museum, artist unknown.

Purchased from the Mutter Museum, artist unknown.

I have never been so happy in moments as I have been in the past week:  We predicted that our “legal” judge wedding would be an annoying inconvenience, but instead became an insanely comical event :

First, we are brought to Juvenile Probation court- the room filled with angry parents, bored police officers, and distracted lawyers-  I addressed the room where our family and friends were also present “Well, a full house!  That was unexpected- Thank you all for coming to our wedding today!”

The day before, I had dislocated my finger on the wedding band trying to remove it too forcefully from trying it on (we got it resized correctly and also- Ed corrected the alignment the day before- however my fingers were still swollen pretty badly.  As he was attempting to put the ring on my finger like one would tighten a washer- instead of repeating after the judge, he Scottishly replied “Aye”- rather than the prewritten text we had never seen/heard before.

After the ring was on (It fit! At Last!)  -the judge continued onwards with several phrases about “God”- until he stopped and looked at Ed with an uncomfortable expression and said “Would you mind giving the lady back her bouquet before we continue…?”  Turns out I handed Ed the bouquet as I finished getting the ring on my swollen finger and HE was the one holding it like the bride for a few minutes.  I took the flowers back- the proceedings reached their conclusion, and my friends and Ed’s family went outside of the Juvenile probation center for photographs.

Apparently, the youths within did not like it much when I asked “Is there anyone in this room who is not a criminal who can hold a camera for a second without stealing it?”  We ended up with a guy with a nametag who was passing by and dirty looks from inside the room as we got multiple shots of us posing under the “Juvenile probation” banner….and teasing our friends who brought their 9-week old infant about their parenting skills to have their child visit such a place at so tender an age.  (again- the other people in the room looked less than amused- but we were….)

Overall, it was a pretty Lokean experience- and it really served to make us look forward to the REAL wedding on the 28th where we can actually say the names of the Gods outloud as opposed to picking our “favorites” with each droning mention of “God” in a state building.  (Separation of church and state?  Here?  In my city?  Apparently not)

Furthermore, although the religion we are getting married under is NOT formally recognized by our county, Urglaawe symbolism completely covered our wedding license.

Furthermore, although the religion we are getting married under is NOT formally recognized by our county, Urglaawe symbolism completely covered our wedding license.

So- here is our marriage certificate: note the hex signs, distlefinks, and Germanic typeset….and yet, we STILL had to go to a judge to be considered “legal”.

All in all, I have so much to thank Loki for, the sacrifice of one rose hardly does Him justice for the kindness he has brought to me- and the comfort He has given Eddie through Ed’s work with his Children, Hel, Fenrir, and Jormangandr.

So, hopefully, the fire was a sign Loki accepted my enthusiastic “Thank you!” for all His blessings and help over the past year!  The table is unharmed and the fireworks were beautiful *indoors* this evening.

Hail Loki, fire trickster- and gifter of good husbands!  🙂

Life is Fair.

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods with tags , , , , , on June 12, 2013 by Tyrienne
Fenrir and Loki as depicted (by signiture) by some person who goes by "Florbe 91" on

Fenrir and Loki as depicted (by signature) by some person who goes by “Florbe 91” on

This goes against everything you have ever been taught.  But I will explain in a long, convolted rambling way like I usually do, then Deux ex Machina the heck out of the end of this post to make it appear that a common thread existed all along through out my mad ramblings.

Got it?


(Speaking of “Mad Ramblings”, check out Eddie’s new blog post Here on Lovecraft)

In the Lokasenna, Loki found himself outside the great hall of the Aesir- uninvited to a party to which all others had been granted invitation.  He was outraged; was he not Odin’s sworn brother?  He entered, Bragi made room, Vidarr poured him some mead, and Loki then proceeded to tear apart each participant at the feast out of His frustration and rage at being excluded when He was promised a seat at each feast.

Tyr- silent for much of the poem, only spoke to defend Freyr’s honor, Loki attempted to Silence him basically saying “Well, your hand was taken by my son”  Tyr replies “So it was- and when the Gods fall, so will he” (loosely paraphrased)  Loki then insinuated that Tyr’s wife once cheated on him with Loki- which was undisputed, and Loki offered the man pity for the lack of recompense for Zisa’a infidelity.

But not a single word was uttered against Tyr’s honor… it was more like “Hey! You’re missing a hand! Ha ha- handless dude is handless!” in much the way I laugh at retards wearing helmets in the supermarket.  Disabilities are hilarious; including my own.  Watching me shriek after a loud noise or hearing about my over-the-top reaction to any nightmare to subsequently become the “human squid-monster” while wrapping myself around Eddie like a tentacled Lovecraftian ghoul is both pathetic and still a little funny to think about.  (He Likes squids.  He said so…  marrying one should be a dream come true)


Tyr is a God-  If golden metal can be grown from Sif’s scalp after a mere shaving- Tyr could create something to serve as a hand.  As for the infidelity; truly it does not say that Tyr was anything other than faithful- and his wife still remained his own.  Tyr keeps his own council- but he does not contradict Loki’s claim that Freyr had slept and born children with Freya, but rather, pointed out Freyr’s best qualities- that he frees those from slavery and no woman is ever harmed by the God, and Freyr is among the greatest of the fighters- no small compliment from Tyr, the God Battle and Justice.  So, Freyr slept with his sister-  So did almost everyone/everything else according to several sources, and it was consensual.  Icky even by Norse standards, however, still a private arrangement between consenting adults.

Loki moves on to easier prey to satiate his anger at this point, realizing the reaction of Tyr of: “Why yes, yes I did lose a hand- I miss it, and it’s going to suck for Fenris when the Gods fall.” was an honest answer, and not enough to get a “rise” out of him.  Tyr basically retorted with “Well, no one is going to win from anything regarding that situation.” in other words.

Loki did nothing that was contradicted in the Lokasenna other than point out the flaws of each person attending- none of them disputed as inaccurate, however some did come to the defense of others to point out the positive traits that contradicted the negative.

Loki in rage is not kind in words, but He is not untruthful.  He is hurtful, cruel, and even mocking.  He was also offended, hurt, and outcast despite promises made in blood with Woten, the All-Father, that not a drink would be poured without one also being poured for Loki as well.

His reaction is the same of that of any family member who finds themselves not on the guest list of any family event- so- He crashed the party.

There is something I have discovered with weddings called the “Maleficent Paradox”-  namely, that there are people who you KNOW will cause nothing but hard feelings whether or not you invite them, you might not even wish to SEE them, however, to NOT give them the respect they feel they are due will cause greater hardship in the long run.

As someone who is both of Tyr and Loki- I can understand that sacrifices and appeasements must be made for those people.  Our wedding is potluck; yet, it was announced to me by my father that “Formal, official” invitations were expected by certain family members personally written by yours truly.  However, Miss Manners dictates the actual, Socially Correct action is that the parents of the bride are meant to send out all invitations.   For my family’s attempt at pretension, they certainly failed the class on politically/socially correct means of correspondence regarding weddings in nouveau-wealthy charm school when they lived in the Main line, I suppose.  (I assume they MUST have one in Bala Cynwyd)

Official invitations to what amounts to a picnic?  Really?  Well- okay then.   Ed and I went out to Party City, he picked out something that looked reasonable and used his sister’s discount to get them for a grand total of $2 for 8.   I wrote them up in a day, and realized I still could use another pack:

Overall, in writing the invitations to the people I realized that it wasn’t at all a bad thing-   There were also people who I desperately want to attend who are elderly friends of mine who cannot operate a computer even with guided instruction, a tutor, and a Mac.  The same people who when you bought them an answering machine in the 1990’s created the classic message “HELLO?!  DO I TALK NOW?  HOW DO I GET THIS TO WORK?  WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO???  I THINK I BROKE IT…”  *BEEEP*”

/shakes head.

Anyway, because of having to appease the den of angry, rabid lions that share blood with me- I ended up calling up good friends, old neighbors, as well as making some people feel deservedly special for their role in my life; like the family that took me in when I moved out at 17…. they actually deserved something special; as did my neighbors from Haverford who called child services on my mother several times when I was very small- and gave me their back yard to play in to escape the worst days of my mother- even before they themselves had a child.

The point of our wedding is that (almost) EVERYONE is invited.  You come, great- you don’t come.  Oh well.  Bring food.  Bring Drink- dress however the fuck you want.

The exception to an invitation?  If either my future spouse or I have said, “Stay out of our lives, please.”  It’s actually a shorter list than one would expect.  On my side, well,  it’s just my schizophrenic biological mother who is about as sane as a sack of weasels and if the rest of my family can be compared to a pride of angry lions, she would be a rabid, obese rhino with the  face of Andre the Giant and all the good social graces of Hitler at a Bar Mitzvah.

Anyone other than her?  Fuckit. Love us, hate us, indifferent?  Unlikely-  whatever.  You are willing to make the drive to Gring’s mill and bring food?  Excellent.  Make a scene, and there will be a small army of large men with beards who will ever so gently usher you back to your vehicle.  Play nice and you get to meet a lot of neat people and eat copious amounts of delicious food.

This is actually the TRADITIONAL Pennsylvania Dutch way of handling such an event.  Generally, you invite the entire community, people show up with food, the couple is married, then food is eaten.   Easy.   Also, same for most other tribal cultures around the world.

We have received some criticism- all from people who don’t matter and likely will not attend, anyway:

So, our wedding is now “untraditional” for being traditional, we are  “a joke” or “offensive”….or are we?

I have a dress I modified and sewed myself from two dresses that came to $24 that shows off every single tattoo I have proudly (none are in sensitive areas), there will be people from all walks of life- in all manners of dress.  I have friends who own companies and people so poor they are on disability as I am-  There are people I haven’t seen in years as well as people I see regularly.  There will be college professors, former coworkers, close friends, as well as people I have yet to meet.

The religious wedding will be partially auf Deutsch/ part English….and hopefully short.  As for vows?  Anything less then from the heart and on the spot will seem contrived.

There will be a little girl dressed as a pink cat princess in a tutu as well as at least one professional wrestler in full ring makeup.  There will be at least one person in camouflage- maybe even a few with beards that would make ZZ Top look pitiful by comparison.   Throw in a couple of women dressed for a Renaissance faire- someone in a karate uniform, and several kilted Irishmen and it sounds like something “typical” that one would expect the two of us to throw.

My birthday parties at the hookah lounge usually had a similar turnout.  Only instead of coiffed like a drag-queen at Diamondz lounge in Allentown, I dressed like “Alex” a’la “A Clockwork Orange”.   The same amount of mascara will likely be used.  From the same tube I used last time:  Mascara used twice in 4 years.  Hot diggity.  I’m going all out here, folks.

Weddings in the United States have become not about the marriage of the couple anymore- but rather about impressing others as to your personal affluence.  People stress over guest lists, seating charts, who-gets-along-with-whom, and other bullshit.  Flowers?  Who needs flowers when you’re in a fucking park?  As for “favors”….I don’t know- take home some leftovers?  (either that or I’ll throw together the Ren-traditional glass-beads-covered-in-metallic-sharpie bindrunes by the hundred….as soon as I can convince Ed NOT to include “Ear” as his personal symbol)

We spent $100 for a pavilion that seats 100.  Take a plastic plate-  fill it, find a seat near people you know- or make friends.   Stay for just the wedding, or stay until clean-up and the after party back at the apartment…  Whatever floats your boat, skipper.

So, wow- this is not the post I expected to write today.  I have a million and one things on my plate and only 2 of them have anything to do with the wedding.  Most of them involve yet another identity theft case and the same legal wrangling I have faced for now over a year now.

Should I whine and say “Life isn’t fair…?”  Not at all,  because I have learned that in life we choose if our lives are “fair” or not.   The annoying bullshit I have to put up with regarding legal matters is actually helping people with similar problems suffer less in the future because I have the time, resources, and intelligence to combat injustice where others might not have such gifts.

Weird Shit will always happen to me, I’m Lokian/Lokean (pick your spelling)-   But if I am in the family of Loki- Tyr is my boss.   Tyr was the one who told the Norse not to trust self-fulfilling prophecies, He was the one to care for Fenrir the wolf when no other would approach him, and He was the one who bears a missing hand- as a reminder that WE have the power to make life, as a whole, fair for others through our own actions. My God is the eldest still, if he is not wisest- he cannot be denied that he has seen a great deal over thousands of years worth of human and deific folly.

Fenris was bound- but it broke Tyr’s oath to the wolf to do so- and the loss of the hand is a reminder of that oath.  Did Tyr’s wife cheat on him?  Well, Loki is a shapeshifter and known to be charming-  Tyr, as much of a judge as he is, has only broken ONE oath ever recorded in history- sure, you could pity the man, but respect would be more appropriate that if the marriage vows were broken- they were only broken on one end….and there is not enough other documentation on Zisa to make much of a determination on the matter except She is known as the one who can “untie the knots” in our lives and find solutions for difficult situations- and the Lokasenna is a disputed text at best anyway.

What is not disputed is Tyr as a God of justice, the reason for the loss of His hand, and why He chooses it to remain that way.

I have figured that the “bad” or “annoying” things that occur in my life generally are part of a larger picture….and usually, I am uniquely suited with both my words and my intellectual resources to sort things out in the end. In doing so, and in doing so in view of the public, apparently, I have helped others more than once who have experienced situations that could be mended by similar resolutions that I have discovered myself- which ultimately makes me happy in the end.   My life is based on feeling “useful” in some way.  Although writing to me is often cathartic and a way to blow off steam- it also shows that I am simply a person, like anyone else…. and I go through “person” things that many other people also go through.

I am far from “cursed” or “plagued” except, perhaps, mentally- but for that, I have also been compensated fairly in spirituality, love, experience, as well as in government aid – all of which help me address my problems in some form of both organization and support.

When the biggest annoyance I have is hand-sewing my own wedding clothing- I have it pretty good.  I know the flashbacks and nightmares will get worse before they get better…. I know my identity theft situation will bounce between a few more people in Harrisburg before being settled- However, I also know, ultimately, it will not even make a difference once I change my name and my insurance.

So, in conclusion….if you life “isn’t fair”- then look at the bigger picture, do the “right” thing regarding the greatest number of people you can, and MAKE it fair.  There are things in life that are out of our control- but our reaction to them is the key to the “fairness” of the entirety of all situations…. if you end up having to do uncomfortable, tedious things to make life easier for others who will eventually be in your shoes, then although you won’t see the fruits of your progress- others will suffer less because of your efforts.  That is fair, and there are likely people who came before me and experienced even greater “unfairness” than I did- which is now why I am able to be afforded the chances and advantages I have been given…. and I thank those nameless people for their hard work in making my life easier, not even knowing how much they had to struggle.

If life seems “unfair”- or the path ahead looks wrong; choose a better one.  If no better option appears: wait.  If you wait and run out of time and then are forced to travel the unsavory pathway anyway- you’re at least guaranteed to learn something along the way.   There is not one single experience in life where we do not learn SOMETHING, even if it is simply in which mistakes never to make again.

Three Tiers: Wedding plans

Posted in About me, Justice, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2013 by Tyrienne

Adriaen van Utrecht | Vanitas Still-Life with a Bouquet and a Skull

Warning: This blog post is likely longer and more boring than most I have written up until this point.  Real life often is.

After what felt like an hour of scrubbing, I have almost removed all that remains of the surgical tape that attached a heart monitor to me for 24 hours.  Man, that sucked-  however, I get to “enjoy” this ritual all over again tomorrow after my stress test on the treadmill.  More tape, more monitors….followed by my very first appointment with a real internist in several years where I get to drop a lifetime of medical history and subsequent legal paperwork on the poor soul to fill out on the first day I ever lay eyes on him.  La-de-da.

These are the hoops to jump through to get a single pill/surgery/whatever that will get my pulse from that of a hummingbird to a human…and yet, blood pressure remains corpse-like.   It’s been awkward; I have several specialists, but have not had an official “doctor” coordinating everything like most people in years.  So, instead of sending all the results in advance-I thought it would be wise to meet with the man first before he receives an onslaught of results from dozens of tests from all over Pennsylvania from every known type of specialist.

I have not met him, but I sincerely hope he is nice, intelligent, and has a sense of humour.   I was told he does have experience with cases like me-  however, most cases “like me” don’t usually have one day every few weeks of unusual competence nor steady spousal support resulting in remaining “on top” of the pile of endless tests, justifications, and prescriptions required to keep further deterioration at a minimum.  That, and I have religion  which allows for plenty of Deus ex Machina to cover me when I am barely treading water.

Good thing our last ritual was to healing Goddesses… Hail Mengloth and Eir, right? 🙂

So, it’s been an excitingly frustrating 7 days-
On the bright side, I was allowed to keep the “Time” magazine from the phlebotomy office at Quest Diagnostic which had the article on the second man to teach me Sufism via his students, as “One of the World’s 100 most influential people.”  This is the same man who taught me that any person who demands your respect deserves it the least. I was awestruck- and now have an answer for the wishful yoga “Guru” (Capital “G”, yo’.) who wanted my supplication and obedience to his ridiculous and under-researched take on Hinduism since he “sat at the feet of the wisest yogi’s on the planet…”

Krishna is NOT a pacifist.  I suggest the Bhagavad Gita as a resource considering the majority of the text refers to Krishna addressing his friend, Arjuna about the necessity of war.  I learned that in college from many religion courses… not from some mansion-living asshole wearing a burlap sack and ripping off rich Americans with more money than sense, and not enough book readin’ to know better.

Okay, asshat- My teacher was in “Time” magazine….was yours, Mr. Abusive, anorexic, autistic, paranoid, no-degree, vegan, pretentious, parent-funded jackass? 🙂

Also= I’m not a Hindu.,

(The urge to contact this character to say: “Bow to me, lowly peon…!”  exists, but just the satisfaction of this information is more than enough to humour me)

Our personal practices have become more interesting in the past few weeks as we seem to escape any and all boundaries or commonality with what people expect of us.   We have become frustrated that the most exciting things in our religious practices are likely to be the least understood; yet at the same time- we find ourselves surrounded by so many unhappy people that we both had to learn that we cannot please everyone, accept everyone, and be beholden to everyone.  Time is precious, spend it wisely on what you can influence positively.  Remove from your life what makes you unhappy, uncomfortable, and what does not bear fruit.-  This I learned years and years ago from a Native shaman who read me at another faire.  “Know when to hold them, know when to fold them, and let fields lie fallow when they don’t grow corn.”

I must say though- getting a Ouija board made by a Floridian priest out of Haitian wood decorated with tarot cards around the edges was the most interesting purchase made…. and also, the object in particular is 1/20 in the entire world, blessed, and works well.  We managed to channel a rather sarcastic author my fiancee is partial to who offered hysterical answers to our questions-
As well as indicating my dead grandpa was also in the room…by referring to him as “The Nazi”.
“Why would you say such a thing about him?”  We asked,
“Hello! Because He is”.  (Grandpa was temporarily in the SS during WWII- but defected to the British secret service) If you want an idea of what’s going on- check out Ed’s new blog Here.

Basically, to sum up Ed’s blog we have both lived lives where we have been extraordinary push-overs in attempting to please everyone, and we are currently working on rewriting both of our priority sets to honor ourselves more, care less about the games and dramas of others, and learn to discern where and when we can contribute the most good to the world and when to gracefully bow out and do our own thing.  Making everyone happy was making us anti-social and resentful.  It was time to take some of ourselves back for our own good.

Heathenly speaking: Nauthiz has been in full swing as my fiancee and I found ourselves forced to make concrete decisions regarding wedding plans.  I visited a psychic last week for a reading who gave better advice than my current therapist- basically, that even as the shell of a “Type A” personality- I need to learn flexibility and that if something isn’t going the way I envisioned, it is not to say all is lost- but rather, there are possibilities I was likely not aware of that will come to pass and to allow more competent and willing parties to take charge.  Which is exactly what occurred.

Every altar was given at least one new gift of a stone, candle, or both- including a huge terminated, irradiated smokey quartz on my fiancee’s main altar- some smaller black quartz  and blue Bornite for Tyr,  A citrine/quartz and a handful of Bornite for Loki.  An Amethyst raven for The Morrigan, a natural, jewelers quality quartz for Anubus, and Zinc quartz for the Gentleman’s Altar of Freyr/Janis and Cernunnos…. all with fresh, new candles….including refilling our box of tealights for the ailing, dead, and those who request honest, legitimate help from us.

The candle for the patron of our relationship has been lit off and on for days-  it might surprise some to know that it is Freyr we look to for relationship issues rather than any Rokkr.  We as a couple remain remarkably stable- however, the process of life regarding the wedding “clicking” into place around us needed a “spark” of discontent in our wedding plans- we had to defend our religious practices to another, which then triggered a chain affect of solidifying a much more complicated and satisfying wedding arrangement than even I imagined beforehand.

So- my idea of the picnic is the woods is still going to work; we have confirmed Ed’s favorite park with pavilion space enough for food and the possibility of rain.  Furthermore, in letting go of my innate habit of being the “planner” in the relationship-  Ed created a beautiful 3-tiered wedding process that never would have crossed my mind that solves a series of problems I was struggling to accommodate.

First, since we have to get our license from the state anyway, he wanted a private judge-wedding with just family followed by a nice dinner at the beginning of the month.  This way, we can take advantage of the next 10 days he has off for a honeymoon that is technically “real”….including some light day trips to places like the Mutter Museum and possibly Salem or New York.

Since we are doing this all ourselves- the day before our actual Braucher- officiated wedding; we are having a get together lunch with whomever wishes to join us at a Scottish restaurant near the majority of my friends the Saturday before- a sort of cross between the idea of a bachelor/ette party and rehearsal dinner….followed by an evening of cards against humanity and take-out cuisine for the evening as those out-of-towners and people who wish to help set up for the “big” thing stay overnight at our apartment if they want to.   Then, Sunday- as I get my hair done, (and possibly nurse my hangover) the men set up in the morning, then at 2pm we have a  family friendly picnic, Heathen ceremony- and at the end of the evening, whomever is left to help with clean up comes back to our apartment for sumbel, in the midst of all of our altars, our cats, and all the blessings one can want.

So, right now, I am waiting on the judge to call me back to confirm the first week of July for the “legal-ease” wedding, set up a hair appointment for the 28th, and now- I am looking for a cheap florist to provide a bouquet or two… as well as good, sturdy flowers to wear in my hair.  Looking at bulk prices, it appears miniature blue carnations and baby’s breath sent via some online site are currently the front runners.  20 bucks for 50 stems of each.  Not bad.

Still need to purchase shoes, a slip, and next week- my fiancee’s Scottish regalia.  The wax mold for our rings will be seen on June 22- then fabricated that week.  And I have learned that even a “simple” wedding still takes planning, time, and slightly more money than expected.

I also discovered my former roommate from over a year ago was apparently attempting to claim food stamps under my name- leaving me with a thousand dollar reimbursement to contest. (which I am not concerned about-I have a copy of my lease proving my residence here in THIS county)   I am beginning to seriously consider purchasing a small filing cabinet for our Tyr (Ziu) altar- since all my paperwork regarding “justice”, “injustice”, and anything “government” hath started running over…

I agree with the Christians when their book stated “Give what is Caesar’s unto Caesar.”  Meaning- let all political/government/legal matters be entirely separate from the rest of life whenever possible.  Tyr has been generous with guidance and help on these things, so I have faith Justice will be done.

So, our cake and our wedding will be three-tiered- but nine separate cakes for each realm of Norse.  We have done our best to minimize butt-hurt in this way and we have also learned that dealing with either religious politics or my family politics is exactly like a game of RISK:  By the time you have the board set up properly, you realize you have no desire to actually play the game.

So, I’m not going out of my way to contact extended family except very minimally, the same goes for anyone else estranged on either side, or religiously speaking- if they show up, they will be expected to be on their best behavior lest they be promptly removed by my brother’s friends who would enjoy the privilege.   My brother, sister-in-law, and best friends along with Ed’s family get their “Specialness” with the court wedding…(since there was possibility of offense being taken by not having attendants or a special “family” part some people love so much)…and We still get to have our religious Heathen celebration…

…and hopefully, the medical issues will be resolved in that time as well; one problem will be solved at least- in July, under new insurance, I will get to see my old therapist again who was better trained on my issues- which will very much help minimize any terror at the idea of a large crowd on the 28th.

So- need to hear back from the judge, make hair appointments for the two of us for the first week of July still, buy the Kilt/Highland shirt combo for my man, buy shoes and a slip, figure out where to get a garter and bouquet, and I think that’s about it….other than dollar store streamers to mark our pavilion as “Taken”.

Since so many of our friends are LGBTQ- Ed will be wearing the garter and throwing the bouquet- Bi/pansexuals reading this:  Pick ONE to go for.   The result of who-catches-which could end up anywhere from “typical” to awkwardly hilarious. 🙂

However, after the chaos of being accepted then rejected from location to location- I think the end solution turned out to be the best solution-  all I needed to do was let go and allow my fiancee the confidence to figure out solutions to problems that vexed me.  I’m not used to being with someone equally to more competent than myself:  But if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be marrying him.

Weddings are usually the dominion of the “woman”-  after years of self analysis, I should have known that if it’s the domain of the “woman” I am likely the least equipped for the task out of anyone to attempt to navigate such waters.

I am willing to pimp Ed out as a wedding planner by the way- he’s remarkably good at creating elegant, clever,  and complex solutions… just pay him for his time.

That is for another post;  when to know when people are taking advantage of you for things they should be paying you for but don’t….