Archive for Asatru

Latvian Folktale: “The Wild Horseman”

Posted in About me, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , on February 26, 2015 by Tyrienne
Latvian Horse: Courtesy of Wikipedia

Latvian Horse: Courtesy of Wikipedia

Once upon a time, the country now known as Latvia was under the rule of German Barons.   The Latvian people were given homes, and the ability to have small gardens in addition to the farms and shops they tended.  However, beyond that, the people were predominantly farmers who produced grains, other crops, and trade goods of which, most were sent to Germany at the end of each growing season before the arrival of the heavy snows of Latvians winters.

The Mansion of the German Baron in Latvia was a huge place, even though he seldom lived within it- with stables larger than several houses of the Latvian farmers put together, and filled with every sort of horse, from beautiful show-horses with manes that flowed like rivers that pulled the carriage of the rich Baron and his family on Holidays, to the humble, homely, (but intelligent) plow horses for use of all farmers,  as well as native Latvian horses that had brown fur that looked to burn like fire in the sunlight.  For all these horses, there was only one young stableman, they only needed one- for he was so excellent at his work with the animals that he even slept in the loft to be near them.

His name was Janis- just as his father before him as well as his father’s father.  Janis was the name of their favorite ancestor, who was celebrated as a  God who was responsible for the coming of Spring herbs and flowers as well as bringing leaves to the trees and warmth back to the air.  Like his namesake, stableman Janis felt most at home in the woods where, often he would take the herd to forage for days when they were unneeded for other purposes- for living in such a country with a short growing season all grain was valuable and to be saved as much as possible.

The German Baron, despite his palatial accommodations, preferred to remain in Germany for much of the year only coming to Latvia to collect the produce from the Latvians to bring back to Germany- the journey was long in those days and unpleasant, however, the Baron was also responsible for taking census of the people for the Germans are a very taciturn and organized people who considered the Latvian farmers as simply an extension of their already vast empire.  However, despite this, Latvian tradition held that people did not have surnames.   The villages were very close-knit even if the houses were far apart, therefore, it seemed unnecessary in those days to have more than one name in the minds of the people.

So, on one particular visit to what is now Latvia, the German Baron was tasked to give each Latvian in his jurisdiction a surname for more accurate census purposes.

The Baron arrived and announced that all citizens, without exception were to come to the Mansion and be given surnames by German custom, based on profession. With reluctance, the Latvians lined up and were given German last names: Metzger for the butchers, Backer for the bakers, Bauer for the farmers, as well as countless other names to each family.  With each region, the Baron would try to keep the sames similar for greater organization.

Many people were absent- some were in Riga at the time trading, others too sick to come to the mansion, and Janis was in the woods foraging with his horses.

The Baron returned to Germany with his list of names to hand to the Landgrave-Count of the entire region (of which the Baron’s land was only a small part) and was met with displeasure.

“This list of names is too short and does not match the census! You must go back and knock on every door of each home to tally the elderly, the ill, and young as well!”

The Baron, frustrated, rode to Latvia once more reluctantly with a small band of his kindest soldiers.  Again, he asked for all Latvians to report to his mansion, and he sent his men into the villages to knock on the doors of each small home and gave them, too, the authority to name.

Janis, once more, was in the woods with the horses.

“Where are my horses?” asked the Baron to the local elder.
“We were not expecting you, so Janis took them to the woods to forage.” the elder replied.
At this news, the Baron exclaimed in frustration:

“My horses are tired and need tending! Who will tend to them?”  Janis was sent for, but could not be found- for as vast as the fields were, so too, were the woods at that time.

So, they found a family nearby who owned a horse of their own to tend to his horses for his stay, which lasted for several days since the farmland was vast and many houses were far-flung.   Since they only owned one horse of their own, caring for the horses of the both the Baron and his men was an overwhelming task. The horses were fed well and watered- but they did not shine as brightly as the grooming of young Janis.

After several weeks of searching, naming, and reporting, the Baron and his men returned once more to the Landgrave-Count to deliver their report.

Once more, he was met with screaming: “This list is STILL incomplete!  There is a single name missing of a young man- and all people MUST be named- you must go back to Latvia to find the missing man and name him!”

With so many people to keep track of and his exhaustion from so much heavy travelling, the Count was dismayed: He would have to return to Latvia one more time and discover the identity of the missing man, then, ironically, name him….and wintertime was drawing close.

This time, he brought three times as many men, sending them to houses as well as other local towns and Barony’s nearby seeking the last remaining Latvian without a last name, before even reaching his mansion, hoping that he could be done with this and return home as quickly as possible.  Even knocking on doors himself asking each person, young and old, if they had last names for a day and a night without rest… returning to his Mansion in Latvia exhausted, where he was met with, once more, empty stables and the kind family waiting to care for his horses as well as they could…. but not as well as Janis.

It was then the Baron realized who was missing.  The Stableman- who, once more, was in the woods with the horses watching them as they foraged.  Out of anger and frustration, he demanded that Janis be found and both he and the horses returned immediately.

After a long search in the woods, Janis was found with the horses with him in a clearing- coats gleaming, and well-fed- but Janis ran back into the woods, leaving the Baron’s men to return the horses to the stables without Janis.

The Baron, out of frustration, took out his ink and wrote: Janis Vilde on his census sheet as well as nailed a wooden sign on the inside of the stable doors with his decision.  “Vilde”, translating to “Wild” or “Unruly” at that time.  No one could treat the horses as well as Janis, so he did not wish to punish him since he was, technically, only doing his job.  The horses were all gentle, well groomed, and fed well, and the Baron knew Janis could not hide in the woods forever.

After a good rest, he and his men left Latvia just in time to avoid the first snowfall, not to return again….since Latvia was often a disputed land between many different rulers.

Janis did return from the woods on foot to the stables as soon as he observed the Baron and his entourage had left, for he cared for his horses as kindly as he would for family.  There, he  found the sign. “Your name, Henceforth is Janis Vilde, by order of the Baron”- signed and sealed.

The elders of the town came to Janis as soon as they heard of his return and they asked him why he hid from being named.

To which, Janis replied: “Having one name has been good enough up until now- and I did not want my future children to be forced to do my line of work if they did not wish to do  it.  When I saw that everyone was being named after their professions, I hid.  I did not want to be labeled, and I did not want my descendants to be trapped either.”

“But what do you think of your new name, “Janis Vilde”?

Janis replied: “I like it, it will let my children be free and wild just as I was in the woods!”

****************************************************

Actually, this is an “prettied up” story based on true-facts provided by my grandma on how our family was named Vilde.  I didn’t change the facts, but simply added historical details and read the story back to her and added and subtracted details until we were sure it was accurate.  The only fact that was changed, was HOW MANY times he hid in the wood- it was only once, however, in traditional story telling, the number “Three” creates a fuller, more vibrant tale.

Since then, the Latvian people have changed their surnames from German to Latvian words, however, my family kept “Vilde”…even I changed my name to a version of it years prior to my marriage.

The tradition of Storytelling has been an integral part to all polytheistic cultures all over the world, and I encourage all of you who read this, to please, also, write down the stories of YOUR families so that they may be shared with the rest of our community and told to our children so that these wonderful pagan histories are never forgotten.

Thank you to my Grandma Vija for helping write this as accurately as possible and her willingness to share this story…as well as several-times great-grandfather Janis Vilde. 🙂

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Restarting.

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods, Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 24, 2015 by Tyrienne
I'm back- and about to lay some "hard truth" again. If you are going to comment, please be constructive. "Die Lokean Scum" is not particularly helpful, especially since I'm ACTUALLY Tyrian "scum".  Thank you.

I’m back- and about to lay some “hard truth” again.
If you are going to comment, please be constructive.
“Die Lokean Scum” is not particularly helpful, especially since I’m ACTUALLY “Tyrian Scum”…who also happens to Honor Loki and the rest of our Ancestral Gods as well without exclusion as well as a few from other pantheons as well. (Hey, I’m a polytheist, it’s not THAT uncommon)

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has read this blog in its inactivity.  I thought I was going to “leave it alone” as-is in it’s present state, and even attempted to start a new blog but I could never find the inspiration to actually use it to express myself.

Imagine my surprise when after months of ignoring this blog only to find I had over 18k views and over 100 followers. I think instead of starting new, perhaps, I shouldn’t dismiss this gift given to me by all of you by your encouragement and support.

In any case, although I have been inactive in the “blogosphere” (is that the correct term?) I have still been incredibly active in international Heathenry, making new connections and friends, discovering more about the history of my ancestry as well as getting in touch with my Urglaawe roots (Which my Dad’s family insists on calling “Folkcraft”- no other term accepted. Period.) As well as spending as much time as possible with my now publicly pagan Latvian grandma who has been translating as many books as possible for my husband and I on “The Old/Earth Religion”. (roughly translated)

So, today I spent the better part of an afternoon speaking to a Pennsylvania Deitsche historian regarding our folklore and trends within the greater Heathen community, and I realized that if I fail to use every resource given to me to help improve the image of Heathenry to the general population then I am pretty much a complete asshole if I neglect to do all that I can to do so.

So. Hi. I’m back.

Anyway, what I really NEED to say is that there are some severe problems I am observing in the American community in particular that need to be addressed while they are still simply “seeds” that can turn into a sort of poisonous Kudzu that will strangle us all and make us no different than any other major religion, namely, a socio-political dogmatic mess of contradictory and (and potentially harmful) beliefs and ideals held with good intentions but with dire consequence.

First: Those who claim to “Know everything they need to know about the Gods” and teach others are the very LAST people who should be in the position to be mentors to those called by our Gods and Ancestors. The minute a person stops seeking knowledge, stops asking questions, and proclaims themselves “Authority”- Please do not trust them. Real teachers are humble, they will not charge you a penny. Our ways of our clergy are not the same as the ways of other religions. Traditionally speaking, the role of a Heathen clergy person (Braucher, Hexer, Chieftain, Goethe, or Gythia) is seen as a great privilege and needs no physical monetary reward…but asking them to stay for a meal is considered polite/honorable. (However, I will also temper this statement by stating this is purely from my personal upbringing being raised heathen under two separate cultures: Baltic and Teutonic….other traditions, your mileage may vary).

Second: It must be understood that despite what YOU, the reader personally believe regarding Heathenry in your personal practices, there is a growing danger that we are finding ourselves increasingly defined by people OUTSIDE of Heathenry, and not only that, we are being defined by the worst, most negative people in under the mantel of “Heathenry”. What I mean to say is that as Heathenry grows in it’s myriad (heh) of forms, that the public perception of the Heathen/Asatru growth is being increasingly linked to some truly terrible ideologies that damage both the credibility of Heathenry as well as “push away” people who need it the most, which brings me to…

Third: We are being WRONGLY and WOEFULLY judged not by our best- who are generally quiet, humble people- but by our extremists. What I mean by extremists are those on BOTH sides of Extremism- Neo-Nazi’s as well as those who are so terrified of being “lumped in” with Neo-nazi’s that there are ENTIRE organizations that have formed both inside and outside of Heathenry that have become militantly destructive- going as far as to “profile” individuals based on their facebook friends and even their “likes”, and there have been INCREASING instances of people from BOTH sets of extremism actually seeking out the personal information of their “targets” and harassing them at their homes and workplaces. I don’t care who you are- that is unfrithful regardless- If you disagree with others, there are more mature ways to handle disagreements in ideology. Understanding that a everyone’s journey in life changes BY THEIR OWN VOLITION ALONE is the first step to stopping extremism, stalking, and this frightening new development.

FOURTH: Heathenry, like every other form of religion or spiritual belief system, has several different “denominations”- If you are having trouble finding one in your area that matches your personal beliefs, Please write to me (renalexanders@gmail.com) and I use what connections and resource I have been fortunate enough to come across to connect you to people of similar mindset. Even despite my disagreements with certain National organizations, it may surprise many people to know that I “sort” people as I meet them to figure out which “denomination” will have the most like-minded spirits to help them grow. I have given out contact information for both the AFA and the Troth despite being a member of neither (and in the former, I ALWAYS say, “Don’t mention me as your source- just say you forgot my name!) As well as directing people to scholars abroad who are specialists in things that are uncommon here, such a Jotunr worship.

Since I don’t like the number four very much, I guess I’ll have to come up with:

Fifth: If you are personally a Heathen of some experience, WITHHOLDING information to make yourself feel “superior” is unethical. We do not have “sacred mysteries”- ALL of Heathenry should be UNITED by the desire to personally connect with Our Gods, Ancestors, and the natural world around us as well as to help others. No legitimate Heathen tradition should EVER respond to your questions with:

“I will tell you when *I* believe you are ready.”

NO. This means they are NOT ready for YOU. All information/knowledge/UPG should be freely shared if the person who is willing to share places themselves into a position where they STATE do not mind being approached. (Some people are private, also respect that as well, bitte.)  Like any other spiritual path, please beware of false teachers or heathen psuedo-gurus. Your best teachers are the Gods themselves… and only secondly comes anyone from humankind. Anything that takes you away from your personal “connection” to the Gods is likely unhealthy- however, be that as it may, be prepared to keep an open mind and allow your perceptions to BE challenged by reading profusely, talking to as many people on as many different paths as possible, and learning every facet of this culture and religion. No one should “Tell” you what to believe about the Gods- You are not a slave nor sheep…. take in all information and use your own heart and mind to discern what is YOUR personal truth.

I apologize for my irresponsibility, and like always- I cannot guarantee I will post often. The reason for this is I do not believe in writing “just for the sake of writing”. As evidenced by the consistent traffic on this “dead” blog, I believe it is better to wait until I have something worth expressing then to “force” myself to write when nothing moves me to do so….so far, it seems to have worked for me.

As the return of open worship of the Gods of Europe are creating greater ripples throughout the world at this time- I also need to express my sincere apologies to those who I have in the past derided for finding Heathenry(or Asatru) via Marvel movies… I have been royally “smacked” by the reality that it is better begin from benign fictions to serve as a “doorway” for those new to Heathenry into fulfilling spiritual practice than it ever is to convince a “prison-programmed” Aryan Nation recruit into being open-minded. This is not to say it can’t be done (it has, and there actually is a Heathen prison outreach program to help with this very thing!) I am just saying it is more difficult!

So, in closing, I ask you, my subscribers and those who stumble upon this blog a simple request: Please, if you have been given the ability to influence those around you, please do not shun or hide from it- We are creating the future of Heathenry by our actions, and “Hospitality” is one of the nine virtues for all you Asatuar out there!

Again, I thank you for all the kind comments I have received in these several months encouraging me to reopen this blog…. but then again, where is a better place than a blog called “Hail Loki” to share the uncomfortable truths of which ALL Heathens/Asatru should be mindful? Is that not what Loki represents 😉

***APRIL FOOL’S DAY!****

Posted in About me, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2014 by Tyrienne
Mr. T

Gotcha!

The creators of “Cards Against Humanity” approved my request to be the author of the new “Official Heathen & Asatru Expansion” soon to be offered for free in .pdf on their website! They want me to submit a total of 200 cards for them to choose the best 50 or 60 from for the new expansion. This set will NOT stand alone from the original game- the original cards will be required for this expansion to “work”. These are the 50 I submitted to them as a sample…but I need to come up with more (I welcome suggestions!):

Black Cards:

1. Hail ______!
2. In apology to the Heathen community for the historical inaccuracies in the “Thor” franchise, Stan Lee has agreed to create a character based on the president of the Asatru Folk Assembly to be played by _____.
3. Kaldera farms will be celebrating _____ with _______!
4. The Troth is _____!
5. Folkish Heathens: We are not racists, We are _______.
6. My Patron God/dess is _______.
7. ______ brought ______ to the Faining.
8. _____ will unite the entire Heathen community at last!
9. The Sumbel will be held entirely in ________.
10. The difference between the Wiccans and the Asatru is ______.
11. My favorite Rune represents _____.
12. This regrettable tattoo of _____ was meant to represent _________.
13. I will never join any National organization since I do not agree to_______.
14. The amount of furries in Heathenry is directly proportional to ________.
15. I was kicked out of the National Heathen Gathering because of ________.
16. I found Asatru in prison via _______.
17. I converted from _______ to this?
18. Viking Death Metal is awesome except for the ______.
19. The latest in Heathen video blogging concerns _______.
20. ______ HAS NO HONOR!
21. ______ Oathed to ______ at Sumbel, do you think they will poison the Well of Wyrd?
22. YOU CAN NOT CALL IT A “BLOT” WITHOUT _______!
23. He died by _____. See you in Valhalla, brother.
24. I read the “Edda’s”, “The Hamaval”, and ______. I know what I am talking about!
25. The Gods have asked me to _____ so I am ________.

White Cards:

1. A murder of ravens….and some wolves.
2. A Kindred named after a house in “Game of Thrones.”
3. A well-armed Odinist with nothing left to lose.
4. Converting to Asatru after watching the show “Vikings.”
5. Giving Tyr a hand.
6. Several Ugly Virgins Claiming to be Godspouses.
7. Lederhosen and Kilts.
8. Two federal agents desperately trying to maintain their cover by Twittering obscenities against “The Man” to each other.
9. Lokeans, Rokkr’s, and Jotunatru.
10. Hanging upside down from a tree and losing your eye in a well….on purpose.
11. It’s 4/20!
12. Reclaiming the Swastika as a holy symbol of our people.
14. Spelling obscenities in the runes of the Elder Futhark.
15. White Pride.
16. Mead distilled from Honey, Psilocybin, Peyote, and Wormwood.
17. Knowing nothing about 1488.
18. A Marveltru mistaking wet dreams for UPG’s.
19. Death by Kub.
20. FUCK YOU-I’M MOVING TO ICELAND!!!!!
21. Licking Hitler’s asshole.
22. Someone desperately trying not to act racist.
23. The Northern Gods.
24. Universalists and Universalism.
25. The difference between Heathens and Asatruar.

Time Theory, Heathenry, and Past Suffering

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2013 by Tyrienne

AA036979Of all the religions I have come into contact with during the course of my studies, to me, Buddhism is the most incomprehensible and at opposition with my beliefs and experience.  Please, don’t take this to mean I hate Buddhists, quite the opposite, I married a Shaolin monk for Christ’s sake- and I have been fortunate enough to meet many excellent Buddhist (or half Buddhists) over the years that have shown me the religion itself may actually be more full of kind, considerate people than any other… my favorite advisor in college was half Buddhist as well, and often, he was the best person to speak to when everything in my life was crashing down around me.  Buddhism is the belief there is no moment except for the present moment- the past is a memory, the future can only be inferred.  By living in the present moment we free ourselves from attachment to both the pains and joys of the past and also of anticipation for the future, striving, instead, to live within the present moment
One of those things that haunts me is my physical knowledge of time theory.  Picture a train, if you will- you are standing in front of one window of that train so you can see within the cabin- because you entire view of the train is limited to just seeing inside one window of the cabin, you can neither see the engine nor the caboose.
However, I want you now to picture a mountain, at the bottom of this mountain is the same train- only now from your vantage point you not only can see the train, but all the tracks, the surrounding countryside, and the entire route of the object from beginning to end.   This is time theory.  The idea that time is not linear, but rather all existent in one plane all at once (the 4th dimension) however, we can only perceive the smallest portion of it due to the lack of our perception.  However, even in the analogy of the train we find that we are dealing with two forms of perception-  Grand (Macro) or vague perception, and small (Micro) or specific perception.  From the top of the mountain, we cannot see within the cabin of the train without limit our perception of the rest of reality with a set of binoculars, nor can we perceive from the base of the mountain at the train station without similar means.

To me, this is why Sufism is such an intellectually accessible religion; in Sufism, instead of a train we have a book- some grand book that encompasses all that ever was and is to be, however, we live page by page and do not get to see this book until, MAYBE, our deaths should we have lived our lives in accordance to certain humane principles and ideals such as honesty, hospitality, charity, prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, etc.   Instead of the “Now” centeredness of Buddhism, in Sufism, we have focus on the future, and that all deeds performed in the present are entirely in preparation for some perhaps unattainable future goal.

Heathenism, surprisingly enough, appears to be unique in lacking a present focus in favor of both past and future- our rituals are focused on the values and accomplishments of our ancestors, where our deeds are meant to sow the seeds for the future- making us rather cross-eyed in the present as an entirety of a people.   This makes perfect sense to me, having PTSD because I feel the affects of the actions of myself and others from the past vividly daily in the form of flashbacks; however, I also strive to live a pure and honorable life in the present- which is actually made easier by being Lokean/Tyrian rather than more difficult because both my nature of being Lokean and my Tyrian ethics keep my circle of people I interact with commonly small either out of fear of me or by my repulsion of them.   I love Heathenry because there is no credo of accepting “everyone” there are people who are not worthy of my time or presence, and also, there are people who receive no benefit from my existence either.   This truth is missing from other world religions- this is not to say to be inhospitable- far from that, however, after introductions are made and the nature of the person is assessed; we are given the choice to either continue to allow them to affect our wyrd or orlogg (which I will spell every imaginable way in this post) or to avoid them.   9 out of 10 times my choice is avoidance- humans lie, they cheat, they abuse others and they do not care about the consequences of their selfishness- they intentionally inflict pain and act with cruelty then justify their actions by claiming to be part of some sub culture or another, or worse, their Godly nature allows for certain breaches.   In my case, the pain and damage I cause is by being a truth-teller…. not exactly the sort of person you want at your parties, and worse, I am a truth teller with a selective memory so that whatever is unimportant falls through like a sieve where the things that “stick” nag at me for months until they are released via this blog into the open so I can remove the metaphorical itching of witnessing the pains caused by others- how they can act in ways I personally find appalling and would never commit myself and yet, people avoid that elephant in the room with our still-puritanical politeness of decades of Christian indoctrination into our American culture.

Until “Hey, you’re an asshole.” is as acceptable now as it was back in some indeterminate ancestral halcyon time we all seem to claim- the Lokean and the Tyrians will continue to be the least desirable among all Heathens to share a horn with- Lokean truth is seen as disruptive- and outside of leadership roles, the judgements of those who follow Tyr come across as overly harsh an insensitive- if not Neanderthalic in black/white reasoning of what constitutes the good and the bad- the line is clear.    (Which should be to be expected considering records of Tyr predate records of Woten by at least 6000 years, according to Wikipedia)  With Tyr, the line is clear- cheating is always “bad”, whereas being initially hospitable to all people upon first meeting them is “good” until they are proven unworthy of it…should they prove unworthy, they are to be avoided until sufficient progress is made on the part of the offending party to make amends; but more often then not- the severing of ties is permanent- for the more you beg, the more pathetic and useless you are viewed so reconciliation cannot be “bought”; but must be proven by inherent worth to the community at large to once again regain favor…if then.   (Anton LeVay and Tyr would have an interesting relationship, for instance- for where their ideologies meet- they meet exactly, but where they differ, there could not be more extreme differences in point of view….worth a different post, perhaps)

So, anyway back to time theory.  So here we have the proof of physicist and philosophers that time is merely an a-priori perception of the mind, that we cannot see more than three pieces of the puzzle called “life” at a time, and those pieces we have labeled our “past, present, and future”.  The Buddhist is to sit on the piece that is “present” and ignore all else; the Sufi is to discard the past, use the present, keep their eyes on the future for a pleasant afterlife (all monotheistic faiths are similar in this regard), and the Heathen falls into the the trap of ignoring the present moment being stuck with one foot in the past and the other focused on the future- lending ourselves to a faith that is overall confused on a National and International level as those who favor the past are called “Folkish” and those who look forwards almost to the exclusion of the past are labeled “Universalists”  However, in both sets of Heathen practice we find that it is commonly believed that our present actions, especially during sumbel/blot/ritual are timeless and can positively affect the luck/wyrd/oorlog of the past and that of our ancestors by how well we live our lives this moment.

If I were to take my troubled mind out of the equation of my life, I lead an exceptionally blessed existence,  I have a handsome and loving husband, I not only do not have to work, but I am not permitted to on account of illness, I am free, I am well provided for, have companionship of good animals and people- and even a few reliable, honorable family members I can relate to.  However, my mental condition consistently traps me in past experiences and hurts me relentlessly- I am not haunted so much by things I did or did not do-thankfully, I live a life with few regrets, however, I am haunted by lack of proper foresight in those past situations that allowed for my life to spin wildly out of control as I could not step out of the way in time of the train bearing down on the tracks.  Metaphorically speaking, I have been hit by several trains-  lesson learned is to stop playing on the tracks- which, for the most part I have.  If “playing on the the tracks” is interacting with unstable people, then after 31 years of experience, I have finally learned to determine that everyone is unstable to a degree and that the only people worth interacting with are the ones who can fully embrace their own madness with honesty-(throw decorum out the window, please.)   The harder we strive to hide our inner chaos and madness, the harder it bears down upon us and those in our lives- to the point at which some people will even sacrifice innocent peoples lives and reputations to maintain their own facades of dignity and faux-decorum.  This is called gas-lighting, and is often employed by narcissists and sociopaths.  Be very, very careful about the person who desires recognition, fame, money, or achievement- often, that is indicative of a sickness that can drown and maim even the strongest of men around them; in the pursuit of such meaningless accomplishments or feats- integrity and honor often fall by the wayside as other needs are not met and vices are procured to fulfill the inner emptyness that a life set on these things creates.  The vacuum of loss of friends as time is devoted to putting resources together to appear more impressive in exchange for false friends who only serve to boost the ego- making those who speak of moderation into the enemy.   I abhor the person who seeks grandeur for its own sake- but love the quietness of the footsteps of the person who achieves notoriety for doing good deeds for their own sake without any desire for recognition.

I write a great deal, I think, but I don’t make money off of this blog-  I do it as part of an oath I made with Tyr and by extension Loki to prove that Loki and Lokeans are human beings, not to be categorized and dismissed out of hand- just as Loki is not to be dismissed out of hand. In this journal I have shared and will continue to share my personal experiences publicly- I have nothing to hide.  I will show my prejudices- my strengths, and my short comings- but as time passes, my “public” experience of the community becomes less as I draw my shades and focus more exclusively my own life and that of my husband.  When I began this blog, I was very much “in” the community and a consistent attender of events all over- but now, I am much more content to stay home more days often than not and enjoy the company of my new husband.  Some places have rejected us, other places we have rejected- and honestly- it’s about 50/50 as to which is which- even still, we have more invitations than we expect between the two of us, and I have more reception to this blog than I anticipated.  However, Tyr never gave me a timeline here so I have no idea if this is a “forever” thing or if one day I get to ditch this format in favor of a new chapter with a different URL where I just get to go back to simple, personal journalism once more…where I am not intentionally putting the gross details of my life out there for everyone to see.

So, anyway- the solution I have found to my present dilemma came from therapy, I am involved in something called EMDR where I am supposed to remove the emotions from the negative memories and be able to contain them away from my psyche- the only possible way this can be accomplished for me (and apparently, for most with my condition) is to focus on the living conditions of the present moment rather than the traumatic episodes of the past.   In my case, I spend a great deal of time focusing on the time I get to share with Eddie.  From the view of time theory, and from Heathenry, the reason why my life is so good at this present moment is BECAUSE I have already paid the price for it with my past.   Ed found me through another journal I used to write, and without writing we would not have our marriage.  Without keeping record online of everything I have experienced from my life in Spain to College to my poetry- I would have no record of my past except for negative memories.  However, if I take a more Buddhist approach and focus entirely on the ethic of the present moment, then I realize the need for productiveness and the sharing of my personal revelations.

Without writing, I would feel much more guilty about having such an easy life now-  I would feel more lonely, and I would feel purposeless.  If not a single person reads this blog but my husband- I am fine with that.   However, since I know that is not the case let me tie all the loose ends together into a format that makes this coherent to the rest of those who read my rambling thoughts…

PTSD- (Tyr is likely the God most accustomed to it outside the Rokkr), forces one to live in the past-  however, the past is not detached from the present or future.  The “present” is simply a term for the point of view or perspective we hold on our lives at the present moment, or what “eyes” we use to view our lives-  are we viewing remotely or intimately?  Do we look at the greater picture or the minute details of our daily experiences, (if we pay attention to our daily experiences at all…?)

The view from the mountain is lovely, but we miss detail- and although the details of the train are captivating, if we are standing on the tracks to look in the window of one train, anticipating boarding it, we risk being run down by another on a faster track if we do not watch where we place our feet.

The solution is mindfulness- the ability to live, right now, and in the present- to not focus on anticipation or to dwell in regrets OR past glory.   If life is good RIGHT NOW- then it is fair to say you earned the right to that goodness.   If your life RIGHT NOW is chaos, then it is fair to say that you have been negligent and the sum of that negligence is insecurity.   When I look at the times of my life when things were at their worst, it has meant one of two things:

1. This is only a test- make it through this and things will get better.
2. I have ignored all the warning signs and gone “my own way” despite the advice of those wiser than I, leading me into untenable situations…. to get out, I need to extract myself carefully, live ethically, and all will be okay in the eventual future.

Whether or not I am “Okay” at this time is dependent on my state of mind; always, I am materialistically okay; but I have been homeless, lived in an unfinished concrete and drywall room with nothing more than a spare lightbulb- or by the charity of strangers for food and the roof over my head.   I got through those times by a great deal of prayer, sacrifice (including my entire altar to a lake at one point- 15 years of my life- given to four cardinal directions of water)  It took patience, it took waiting. suffering, and asking for help, even when asking for help meant becoming estranged from those I cared for (who, I had to accept, were NOT helping).  It was a matter of putting aside my pride and TALKING both in writing and out loud about what was happening and had happened…. realizing that as long as I use my voice, as long as there is a record of my thoughts and my writings, then it’s a lot easier to clear up misunderstandings, and MUCH harder for people to lie about who I am and where I stand for their own personal gain.

Writing in journals like this has saved my life, my degrees, and my reputation in some regards- everything I write is honest to the best of my perceptions, and keeping records of what I have thought, said, and believed shows a progression.  No one person is supposed to stay stagnant, and, ideally, my favorite people are the ones who admit to striving to learn something new, experience something new, or do something to further their intellectual and spiritual growth daily- even if it just means watching a movie they have never seen before on Netflix or taking a new way home from work.

Time theory at one time lead me to an institution for 10 days, because my life was so fucked up I couldn’t understand why and how if there is no “reality of serial time” that I could suffer so miserably at that moment.   I suffered because either I was either not living in the present and mourning the past too acutely, or that I could not see the larger picture that time had to offer- the Heathen way- that perhaps I brought it on myself by not being as Tyrian (honest) as I should have been, and in lying to save another person, I had ruined my own Wyrd for that moment.

My life improved when I stopped trying so hard to protect a man not worth my protection, by bringing Tyr’s influence back into my life into a place of prominence where I could once again claim with honesty I was no liar.  It involved a great deal of pain; and still, my honesty causes me loss of friends- however, I have lived the other way. I have lied for who I thought was a friend and almost lost my literal life over it….by placing the needs of a narcissist above my own without the consciousness of realizing I was doing so.  I was told by Loki to protect my professor, and I did.  I saved his life by speaking up and preventing him from being assassinated in Turkey.  My responsibility was not to lie for him to cover up why he was not properly doing his job, nor was it to lie to make him appear better than me and disgracing myself in favor of his reputation when he was the one who was behind on our joint work, not I.

Should I have listened to my inner instincts, I would have known lying at all is never the correct solution to anything at all- and even with the best of intentions, one lie can damage the Wyrd severely.

Kant was wrong in that regard, bad actions with good intentions still lead to ultimately negative outcomes.  Furthermore, there is no such thing as a negative intention- there is reactionary intentions, sure.  But few set out intentionally to cause harm without reason or purpose.  With that being said, if the action is good, the result will likely follow to be good as well.

Be productive
Be Honest
Live in the present
See life from both the micro and macro perspectives
Be frithful
and be grateful and happy for what you have been blessed with.

…and if you can’t bear to raise the horn to Loki- raise it to Woten.  Loki gets some of that honor anyway.
…and if you cannot raise the horn to Tyr in good conscious, realize you fucked up massively in life and need to do some serious self assessment.
🙂

Hail!

On Racism, Neo-Nazism, and Everything that Bunches your Panties!

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2013 by Tyrienne
I'm an equal opportunity hater.

I’m an equal opportunity hater.

Wow, that reaction to the last post was fast.   I was in the shower and it came to me “Great post, I’m proud of you- Now you need to quickly bury it with another on that other people want to hear about.”

Thanks, Loki.

So, this might come as a surprise to some of you, but did you know that each and every single member of the human race comes with a unique background, experiences, upbringing, education level, interests, and biases?  It is true!  Not only that, but most human beings HATE being classified into neat little boxes and discarded because they hold a point of view that is unpopular that thereby renders everything else they have to offer to the community as null and void!

So, the great, big topic in Heathenry these days is racism and the influence of the neo-nazi movement on our religion at large.  There are two sides to this great debate-  the “Folkish ‘ We’re not racists, we just hate black people'”  side, and the Universalist “Love everyone! Except for Nazi’s,  Or Else we’ll hate you!” side.

Hmmm.   Hard choice, there.   I would like to relay to you a prejudice that I have before I answer the question:

I DESPISE faux-blonde soccer moms in SUV’s.  I absolutely hate them.  Everytime I see one on the road, my blood boils- from their loud Ke$ha or KidsBOP music, to their screaming spawnlings in the back seats, to their inability to park in just one space.  I hate seeing them spend 20 minutes fondling their purses as I wait for a parking space at the China Buffet.  Bitch, I wear my keys on my belt with a climbing clip….if your purse is deep enough to fear purse coyotes sucking you into the depths of your Louis Vuitton special edition whore’s purse snatch syndicated bag ;  I will not only join organizations against your kind, but I will burn effigies of Life-size LaBoutin heels on your lawn until you move you and your hell-spawn back to some urban area where I never have to deal with the likes of your people again.

An older blonde. Purse Coyotes. I would pay to genetically engineer an army of them.

So, anyway, racists.   No.  I am not a racist.  I find the entire idea of race delightfully amusing in the “Aryan” community being a former student of Persian studies knowing that “Aryan” is a cognate of “Iranian” and “Caucasian” comes from the word “Caucus” referring to the mountain range which divides Turkey from Persia (aka Iran).

As in my last post there are people in this world I cannot stand- the above examples as well as the one in the previous post being on a list.  HOWEVER…this is how I actually feel.

I don’t care who you are friends with,  if you are friends with me, you can be sucking Hitler’s dick as long as you don’t expect me to do likewise.   Same thing goes for if you are friends with an Oathbreaker or a tiny blonde woman in a SUV.  If I am friends with you, I have no doubt made my stance on the matter clear-  I choose neither “Side”, but take each person as an individual to determine if they are worthy of my time. (Groupthink is bad, people…look it up). Your friends are not my friends.  You are my friend…unless I meet your friend and get to assess them with my personal judgement skills I have no right to judge them…. and even if you ARE friends with someone I dislike- guess what?

I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK.

(again…friends with you, don’t care who you have lightsaber wars with your cock with)

Furthermore, the movement to annex the “Neo-Nazi’s” out of the community is a terrible idea considering that from an outsider’s perspective, the words of a Neo-Nazi Heathen are no less and no more viable than a non Neo-Nazi.

What I propose is this- if you want to make a difference in how people see the world…. TALK To THEM…but not with the express purpose of changing them, since that in underhanded and dishonorable.   The best way to deal with racism is to have an open dialogue about it.  If racist and non-racist mix, who knows?  Maybe we can all find something to hate together… like the war in the Middle East which has been eating all our resources in the US, or tiny little blonde women in great big SUV’s.

I have friends on both sides of this fence which would make both sides blanch in indignation.  “How COULD you?!”  I would be asked.  Easy… they run one hell of a sumbel/make awesome potpie/come out with interesting newsletters.

The key to unity and harmony is moving the focus AWAY from racism altogether and finding common ground- the more you focus on any difference, the more that difference shines and detracts away from any hope of reconciliation.

Politically, I belong to “The Troth”.  However, I have friends, good friends, who do not agree with “The Troth’s” stances on many issues…. and that is okay.

With that being said.  If anyone is interested in (metaphorically) burning down a Sephora store in a upscale shopping center (or even just zombie-flashmobbing one) let me know.

As for Loki- let it be also known that my Patron God has never singled out any group for hatred or spite- but instead has been both an equal opportunity lover and hater.

😉

Shedding Skin

Posted in Justice, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2013 by Tyrienne

I have learned many things in my 31 years on this Earth; the number 1 lesson is “No one likes the unvarnished Truth.”

The truth is, I’m likely more intelligent and articulate than most of you, truth is, I am more often right than when I am wrong- and when I am wrong I am honestly surprised and the first to apologize.  However, were I a concert violinist, no one would find it amiss if I were to state I am likely a better musician than you- however; should the topic change to thought processes, creativity, and pure reasoning power- well, there is a reason I have been plagiarized, feared, and harmed.   I can hold up a mirror and for my flaws in my memory, I can remember certain important facts that people do not want publicized.  In Green Lantern, even Synestro is known as a truth-teller and he’s the greatest enemy in the franchise (or at least the best known).  Like a snake, I am bored and I am listless…I itch as if I have skin I wish to shed….so I am going to do so in this post:

Fact #1.  I know locally famous “magician” who claims to work with light, but in fact was the same magician who introduced my husband and I to ancient Sumerian deities personally- and works with questionably “dark” sources without giving them their due.   Look, the whole light/dark dichotomy is an illusion in the first place- but to demonize both my husband and I for what is barely secret does nothing more than give Ed and I a sort of allure and Je ne sais quoi that makes us appear more exotic and desirable to get to know.  It’s backfiring; now we have people thinking we a couple of warlocks and more people want to meet us rather than less.  Baphomet and Lilith say “Hello ungrateful wretch,” by the by.

Fact #2.  I know a person who claims to be a College professor of Philosophy in a local technical institute who he himself has never set foot into a college for his own education….not only that, has disparaged my own education and does not even know the very foundations in Greek and Asian philosophy.  I would surprised if he could explain the analogy of “Plato’s Cave” without getting lost in the shadows, so to speak… and yet, he considers himself a great teacher and wonders why people blew off his classes.  Fact.  My husband also got him the job because he FAILED the personality test, then stole dozens of hours of Kung Fu lessons from my husband without compensation or fair exchange.  That is the fault of my husband; who was naive enough to allow it to happen.  Get with me; less naive, then the status quo changes.   Enjoy modifying your teaching style to your flavor of the week of people immensely more successful than you dyslexic, insecure, vitriolic fool.   If Yoga and macrobiotics are so good for you; please do, then, explain how your hairline continues to recede.  Unless you have compensated for that as well by explaining it gives your “Third eye more room to breathe.”

Fact #3.  Anti-Lokeans with no sense of humour.  My facebook audience is comprised of friends…and once it was friends and you.   So, we have a priestess and her oaf of a husband who have more reputation behind spreading rumors than they do for any positive influence they have contributed to the community.  Nice.  Enjoy holding fainings in bowl-o-rama’s and Starbucks’- Oh, wait, I forgot- nothing remotely Heathen is discussed at such events, but rather, it would be better served to be renamed the “Berks’c County Science Fiction Appreciation Society.”

Also-  A kindred with three people is a “Triad” not a “Kindred”.  Ed has debated appearing at one of your events for “old time’s sake” to see how you would all react to the “Great Necromancer” you have built him up to be- however, time is scarce when he is home as it is.

When I first moved to Reading I found my life to be entirely different- ignorance was bliss I suppose.  I didn’t lack for activity (we also had two cars then).  First after dealing from the backlash of the Dishonorable Oathbreaking Whore who shared her home with my husband and was upset I ruined her delusional plans to leave her husband for Ed.  Question:  If you want to leave your husband, why not leave him FIRST then pursue other men?   This is also a GREAT question for the other Oathbreaking whore I know.

Fact #4  I don’t like Oathbreakers.  At all.   I have had to single handedly combat the false stereotype of Lokeans everywhere being considered Oathbreakers by nature.  Loki is no Oathbreaker, I believe you have Him confused with Odin.  Where now there is a psuedo-academic running around on her new husband, making a huge show of it to the point where it is obvious to anyone with eyes, and I am told *I* should reach out to reconcile with the very thing that I myself am Oathed to combat?  Sweetheart,  being a Lokean doesn’t give your carte blanch to be a liar, nor a whore.   If you want to be a whore, Great!  I have no problem with whores, but don’t lie about it- release your husband from his contract made in bad faith, unpoison your well of Wyrd, and live polyamourously.   I don’t care how many papers you write, or how many events you create.

Oathbreaker, Oathbreaker, Oathbreaker.

I call you out and your community knows you.  Your husband is a hero and you are a little child pretending to be a woman pretending to be a edgy eternal collegiate whore.  I do not absolve you of your lies to me.  You did not break your oath by “Falling in love” with another man.  You broke your marriage vows by revolving your life around a man who is not your spouse.  Your kinsmen is little better for not confronting you directly as he oathed to US, but instead began the rumor mill surrounding you.   Keep proving to yourself you are clever enough to be a Lokean, but I don’t see it.
In fact, you are DIRECTLY IN MY WAY OF FULFILLING MY OATH TO IMPROVE LOKI’S REPUTATION AND THE REPUTATION OF THOSE WHO WORSHIP HIM, (Therefore, I have a right to be a little pissed off.)

So, anyway, back to Reading.  This place is a cesspool of twisted fucks, backstabbers, and pretentious fools with more money than sense- especially in Wyomissing.   I want change, but I am stuck here for an entire year more.  I have dipped my toes into the pool of other communities, but time constrains me, as does lack of transport as well as attempting to live without marijuana as a promise to my spouse until it is legalized, sadly, most communities that interest me are woven together with hemp threads which forces me to be more wary than I would like.

Do you want to know my flaws?  Read my blog, I have listed them repeatedly-  I am a judgemental Tyrian with severe anxiety disorders seeking treatment.  I worry too much, I think more than I should and I trap myself in my own mind more often than I like.  But I am no liar, no Oathbreaker, nor am I twisted, hidden, or grossly attempting to hide my shame behind false legitimacy.

I seek help when I need it, and I admit when I’m wrong.  But after 31 years- let’s expedite this process a bit.  Instead of waiting a few years for the issues to have evaporated before you come before me with your hearts in your hands and your apologies, I challenge you to do it now- while things are still fresh, and I will take the parts pertaining to you down.

Little Lokeans, watch and learn.  THIS is flyting, and this is how to be a true Lokean.  Not by being deceptive, but by being the firelight before the mirror that exposes the weak to their own selves to where they cannot close their eyes and look away.

You know who you are.  I am bored, what better reason is there than that to stir things up a bit?  Also, I am in desperate search for a LEGITIMATE, kind Yoga studio, not in a gym, that does not charge an arm and a a leg for at least 3+ sessions per week.  If you are aware of one in Berks county, please advertize in the comments below.  There is no reason why yoga outside of this area goes for $60 a month and under- but here it averages to around $100 for the privilege of existing in this shitpit called Reading, Pa.

🙂

Unholy Scapegoats and Sacred Martyrs. Posting in Delerium.

Posted in On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2013 by Tyrienne

My gods  I have been utterly irresponsible towards myself the last 24 hours and I know it.  I itch, horrendously- all over, a long forgotten side effect of a medication I requested to help “cure” me of bronchitis.  The medication is a cough syrup containing Vicodan, a drug I have been well acquainted with for several years as it was used to treat my pain prior to my hysterectomy.

However irrelevant this may seem, I also know that it is also a consequence of me getting dangerously close to breaking an Oath I made to Tyr almost a year ago regarding Loki. That I would figure out a way to improve His name and reputation in the community, do or die.  I would figure it out, why, these two Gods out of several pantheons had decided to involve themselves in my life personally…and I have slacked off, not posting things and insights I have received in favor of doing other things.  Not because I do not love my Gods, but because occasionally, I just want out of the entirety of the community, to be honest.

In the last year, several changes have occurred overall, some worse, some for the better.  The Troth is now openly accepting of Lokeans, there are Lokean communities, support, and a networks all over the web that did not exist a year ago.  I have met several wonderful people, I have been blessed enough to be treated with deference I am not quite certain I have earned- and scorn I know for a fact I know I did not earn. However, a punch line needs to come out of somewhere and I have been meandering around it for months.

I know one other person off the top of my head who works with both Loki and Tyr extensively, Thor Sheil, and even he does not limit his conversations to those two Gods exclusively.  However, constantly, the two come up- oftentimes in the same conversations.

My husband is of the belief that our Gods represent more of a sacred archetype sort of structure; metaphors and thought forms created by human existence that gain power through cumulative centuries of belief.  I disagree with him, personally, and have a much more C.S. Lewis look on cosmology where everything that has ever been thought of exists and breathes with life.  That the act of creation itself is sacred- whether it be in parenting or in writing, and like Narnia- Gods of air, fire, sky, and water coexist and rule under some great universal consciousness.  I believe that all the time there has ever been has already been written; however, I also believe in extensive and perpetual editing as well.

Why am I itching?  I took too much damned vicodan. I am not blaming the illness, it was irresponsible- and instead of dealing with discomfort, I decided to double up on my dose last night hoping to sleep only to awaken itching first thing in the morning like a motherfucker.

So, back to the story line here.  There are two Gods, one is a scapegoat and one is a martyr.  I cannot accurately say they are “My” Gods, so much as I am one of “Their” people.  Which blows my mind and keeps me humbled that no matter what happens with my Earthly family here, I have Gods who specifically teach me and care for me- as well as other Gods as well.  I owe a debt of gratitude to Freyr, Inanna, Odin, Bast, Hanuman, and Ganesha as well- and likely countless others.

I am delirious at the moment with fever….but I need to get this point across:  A scapegoat is the same thing as a martyr- the only difference is the martyr willingly and consciously makes the decision to put themselves in harm’s way for the highest good.  The scapegoat, the “Highest good” places blame on to keep general unity and consensus among the community- for nothing forms tighter bonds than a hatred towards a common enemy.

Problem: Loki is no one’s enemy.  Loki’s crime is admitting he is imperfect, that he makes mistakes, he atones for them, he sacrifices, he creates anew, solves problems and through Him the vast majority of the symbols that represent our faith are directly through his work.  Every person who wears a Thor’s hammer, to Loki should be double grateful.   For it was Loki who commissioned it’s creation, as well as through Loki it was returned when it was stolen.  Odin’s horse, Sleipnir, is Loki’s son- to whom he is Mother….Odin’s Raven’s- are a gift from Loki’s daughter, Hel. Through Hel, Bragi survives Ragnorak to take charge of the new pantheon.  Freyr’s ship, Odin’s armband, Idunna’s sanity- Loki, Loki, Loki, again.

Then, when he isn’t invited to the feast of the Gods, he is rightly incensed. He flytes. He points out their flaws, and is condemned,  tied to a rock according to some accounts, as his sons are slayed before him.  Loki watched as his one wife was burned before him, not once, but three times as his other children were condemned as “monsters” as accounted by the Norn’s- who’s advice created nothing more than self-fulfilling prophecies that were listened to by the younger Gods.

Loki son of Jotuns, son of Farbouti, God of Lightning and illness as well as Laufey, the Goddess of needles or trees depending on how you look at it. Literally- Loki’s creation was the fire of lightning upon leaves.  He was born fire.

Which leads me to Edward’s post about Norse genealogy here.

Through the perversions of Marvel comics and Christianity we have created a false dichotomy that Aesir= good and Jotuns=bad.

Now, here is the second half of the story:

Tyr, older than all the other Gods combined, records predating most of the traditional stories- the God of Sky, war, and justice. The one handed one, the martyr God.  Also, son of giants, one frost, one fire who was disowned by his own family when He decided to throw in his lot with the Aesir.  Why?  Because the Aesir needed an incorruptible judge, an elder, and one to guide them to show them the meaning of justice.  Tyr is the greatest of all fighters, the most terrifying of all the Aesir from personal accounts.

If Loki’s truth is the difficult truth that needs speaking, then Tyr is master of the sacrifice- (Other than Kvasir), Tyr has had to give up/leave behind what has meant the most to Him to do “The right thing.”.  Tyr is never villinized, because Tyr is seen as perfect in his imperfection.  He could grow back his hand, but He understands that would make the sacrifice of it meaningless.  The loss of His hand is a constant reminder of the costs of breaking oaths to both humans and Gods alike.  Tyr suffers/ed to show the “right” thing is not the “easy” way to do things….and He has lost it all because of it.  His family, His hand, and eventually, his Life.

Tyr is the judge, the martyr, the one who fixes.  He is the wise old man who grieves the injustice of the universe alone on His mighty shoulders.  He looks at all consequences and leads by example.  If you break an oath, prepare to lose what is dear to you.  Unlike Christianity, we are free to judge who we may and may not allow in our lives.  However, there are consequences.   And He who seems to be friend of everyone has no friends at all.  Tyr has no family, he was disowned, and yet, he pays the price for the dishonor of the family to which He adopted, in the end, losing his life as a payment for all oaths broken- so that a new dawn may arise in Baldr- in peace, and Vanic prosperity.   To lose the Aesir to the Vanir is to go from the Ego of man back to the realization that we are part of all nature. Just as the Jotuns once were.  Tyr was the stop-gap- Tyr, the self-hating, Tyr the teacher of those to whom no one else would teach- he who taught Hel at His mighty feet and befriended Fenrir.  The one who kept the “old ways” alive as the “new religion” took over.

Loki, is seen as the fuck up, but fixed far more than he ever disrupted., he is “Liar” who never lies, the “oathbreaker” who broke no oaths, and a foil to Tyr in some strange way.  Loki points out the Aesir’s corruption, and is bound, He who takes chances and occasionally loses and then pays back threefold.

The problem with Loki is NOT that he is Jotun, it is that he is too human-  To understand Loki is understand we are all fallible.  That our best intentions and our best jokes can turn sour, and that no matter how much we pay to make amends. It’s easier to hate and fear than it is to accept that our Gods, like us, are imperfect and they know it….and like humans, they do not like to be reminded of their shortcomings either.

So, I agree with Edward to a point- our PERCEPTION of the gods is archetypal…but the reality it far from what we can begin to comprehend.   Like it or not, Loki is Thor’s primary traveling companion.  Like it or not, Loki is Odin’s blood brother- and each horn, stein or cup raised to Odin is also raised to Him as well, like it or not.

Loki is the cleverness we secretly covet, but do not possess ourselves.
Tyr is the God we look up to with the greatest respect- but never speak to for fear of what He may say.

It is been evident that those close to Loki in the human realm are often maligned, but I am happy to report it seems to become an increasingly rarer phenomenon; as we evolve as a community we realize we do not need to hide all of our mistakes along the way, that the clever man is not the same as dishonorable one.

But I can tell you this, for all the shit that I have been through in my life, it was not through Loki’s intercession that I experienced it. It was Tyr.  This is not blame…this is truth….and it was MY choice to follow this pathway. I was not forced to by any means- I was ASKED to, and I accepted this and all it entailed.

To be Tyrian is to be the one to say “You are wrong” when it could cost a friendship. It is to sacrifice to keep the greater whole healthy rather than to “Keep calm and carry on”. It is to correct injustice when given any opportunity to, regardless of who originally caused it initially.

Loki is kind, Loki is caring, Loki is the protector of the lost children, the comfort to the outcast and the clever.    Tyr is no comfort, but action.  Tyr is standing your ground, the life of Tyr is not one of polite lies- but of polite silence until the silence becomes injustice….then Tyr is the voice to cry “foul”….Tyr is the stop-gap that reminds us of our roots when we are rootless.  Tyr is also the one whose existence itself disproves many of the kennings against Loki since He, too, is a son of Jotuns and a God of fire.

Many people venerate Tyr, call themselves Tyrspersons, and then hide and lie constantly falsely believing that justice is the equivalent to “getting what one wants”.  Many call themselves Lokian but do not possess the cleverness nor the generosity to be truly His.

You don’t get to pick your God’s at the local God*Mart.   They pick you.

Some people call me self centered.  That’s fine…because outside of the Gods, I am the person who I interact with the most on a daily basis…but what you don’t see is the hours I spend on the phone or on facebook comforting strangers and friends…you don’t see how often I am a nexus that connects people to other people, nor do you see me as anything more than a girl who complains all the time about my health or my past.

However, I can say that in being open about my own troubles, in putting out my imperfections, I have been told countless times that I have helped others.  My metaphorical “missing hand” has comforted many people.  I might make some of you squeamish by talking about my trips to the psyche ward- but to someone else, I just gave them the courage to seek help they desperately needed.

If what I write does not apply to you, than perhaps what I have to teach does not apply to you…I can show you my life through this blog, and I can share my mistakes to help others from making the same ones.

Lesson of the day:  Do not underestimate the power of Tussionex- follow the dosage on the bottle or in the morning you will look like you came out the loser in a fight against a dumpster full of rabid ally cats.

This delerium was brought to you by Bronchitis, Tyr, and Loki.