Archive for the Justice Category

Honoring Intellectual Property of Artists

Posted in Justice on April 4, 2016 by Tyrienne

I do not consider myself an artist- but I am friends with many whose income comes directly from their ability to draw or their musical skills.  I see outrage when a political party uses a song without permission by the artist who performed it without asking permission first and, rightly, the artist has the right to that rage since usually, when their work is used in such a fashion: as a symbol of a movement, person, or organization- that the ideals of the organization who co-opted the work is in direct opposition to the beliefs of the artist in question.

This too, is especially true for those in graphic design and the tattoo industry.  Clients ask for a specific work to meet their idea, the artist agrees or declines to create the work the client requests, and if there is mutual agreement, the art is created for use as a tattoo, logo, or even just art for the sake of art.  It is a business transaction.

Despite our Heathen ethic of Integrity and Honor- I am finding little honor online for my artist friends who have their work stolen, not properly credited, modified, and even worse, used without permission to represent organizations without permission or payment.  This is theft-  no different than going to a craftsman of a physical piece of work, such as a drinking horn, stealing it, and then adding your own modifications, claiming it to be your own, and then mass-producing that horn to which you never had the right in the first place.

Take this picture for example, it may look familiar:

Then…there is this,

Dez modified

Desiree’s artwork…but someone learned how to use a color filter.  The ability to color another artist’s design is neither frithful nor ethical.

Although the “second coming” of the design is more colorful and dramatic- it does not respect the initial artist in the sense that she designed the original for a client who had it tattooed upon his chest- he wanted it to be unique, it was his symbolism HE requested, and now we have found that the new, modified version has been shared hundreds of times, seen by thousands of people, and now is being used as a symbol to represent movements and organizations that have not contacted the artist for consent, nor is she even credited for her hard work in creating the original which is shared as if it were fair-use instead of copyright. (my writing is fair-use…I don’t care who shares what I write, by the way…because I feel my writing is pretty self-explanatory.)

I blog. I do not get paid for what I write, and writing is very easy to me.  However, I sat next to Desiree over many of the days she spent working on the original design.  Some artist appreciate the exposure, however, given the controversial nature of the implied symbolism, the exposure for this image and subsequent modifications put the artist into a very uncomfortable position of seeing her work being used to represent people other than the client who paid her for the initial design.

Please, in this age of pinterest and tumblr, it is still important that graphic artists receive credit for their incredibly hard works and efforts, and that their wishes are respected in the use of the images they create.   If any artist of any picture I share objected to my credited use of their imagery, I would/will remove it.

I would not modify a piece of hand-drawn art and represent it as my own, even if I had the inclination, unless it was strictly for my personal devotional use and not to be shared with others so as not to take away the credit from the artist.

All I am asking is this:  If you are going to share artwork, please make an effort to find the original source of the work.  If you do not know it- use google image search or write “artist unknown, will credit when found”…and please, out of respect, honor and frith, do not modify the original artwork and falsely claim it as your own or “release it into the wild” without the permission of the artist.


Value the intellectual properties of artists and musicians- this is what they do to feed their families, and their work being used out of context not only is theft, but can cause them a great deal of personal hardship if the people who steals their images as a representation of a cause or organization can adversely affect their ability to continue to sustain themselves or place them in the terrible situation of their work being used to represent causes they do not themselves support.

Thank you.




On Syria (And the rest of the Middle East)

Posted in Justice on November 25, 2015 by Tyrienne




After much thought and consideration I decided to write this post realizing that there are few outside of our Heathen veterans who have come home from tours recently to give accurate insight into what is happening currently with Syria and the rest of the Middle East and how it relates to the United States.

First thing that needs to be stressed is that the Eastern part of the United States has been experiencing high amounts of rioting in the past several months, in fact, it was the sharp increase in inner-city violence which drove Ed and I to buy a home in a fairly isolated area.  Reading and Allentown Pennsylvania, our two closest cities, have been experiencing almost constant racially-motivated riots that seem to be primarily caused by high school  students.  In Allentown, 4-6 officers (depending on the source) were injured during what is now called a “Large High-School brawl”.  In my city of Reading, we have the Philadelphia SWAT team on loan on account of a several hundred person riot near one of our own high schools.  Here is the link to that, it was only announced locally and despite hundreds of people involved in violent demonstration and destruction, these events are not televised nationally and I have heard of the same phenomenon happening in other cities to even greater degree- also unremarked upon excepting Ferguson or Chicago as of last night.

From speaking to others who are located in the Mid-Atlantic States, Great Lakes, and Deep South- the racial tensions have been mounting considerably. The problem lies is in the information people selectively choose to consider without actually having real sources to back up their perspectives.

I have been seeing a great deal of “Unfriend me if you feel/think/believe…” which does nothing except for limiting exposure to alternative points of view and information.  The situation in Syria is far too complex for a meme or a blithe non-sequitur.  For both sides of the fence, you are not creating a more “elite” friendlist, you are diminishing your exposure to the insights and experiences of others.

Oddly enough, for the first time I have been dismayed to discover it is primarily those who have high degrees of education in entirely unrelated fields who are the easiest to offend at this moment, and it has really been an abrupt slap to the face of my reality to see very intelligent people show very little situational awareness of life for those who do not live in any area of significant tension or danger within the country.  Sadly, those same places of riots and danger are very close to where many of the refugee processing centers are located and out of straight fear it is not unrealistic to expect Islamaphobic violence to take place.

In the United States, we are obsessed with the number “Two”- very focused on false dualities:  If you aren’t A, you must be B…. If you believe in B you must be anti-A.

It’s bullshit, frankly.  (Since this is a blog entry and not an academic paper, I can say “BULLSHIT” and enjoy doing so. )

Considering that the situation in the United States in our cities at best could be described as “volatile”, it seems the divisions between those in the Ivory Tower of academia and the less-diverse communities of the upper and better-off middle classes are entirely blind to the majority of problems that affect the majority of people who do not live in such comforts- showing evidence of deep instability at the core of our identity as Americans…and this is not a pretty phrase I am just throwing out there: Heathens are moving out to the country because we are witnessing first hand as poverty and strong divisions in ideologies is leading to extraordinary violence and prejudice between pretty much all peoples that could possibly be divided in every imaginable way economically and socially, by a consumerist culture that thrives on controversy, discord, and glorifies needless violences.

Before I get into the specific details as to “Why”- I will state my position (which has not changed in several years):  is it is safest for US citizens, the refugees we already shelter, and the refugees seeking asylum if we temporarily suspend ALL refugee intake into the country until we employ our military to fix our severe domestic problems of homelessness and violence amongst our own citizenship.

I have been called “racist against Syrians” for this… but honestly, using the argument “The US is better than where they are coming from” does not work on me considering Rwandan peoples have been raped with swords, watched family members dismembered, and yet we have not opened our borders to them or any other African peoples, nor have we welcomed the Polish, North Koreans, or really anyone publicly recently to the degree of Syria

Actually, we have shown a dangerous amount of news coverage regarding the intake of Syrian refugees- which honestly is what contributes to my negative position regarding taking in more.

The United States takes in 70k to 90k refugees from all over the world per year without incident.  Most actually arrive from either Burma or an even MORE controversial country, Iraq.  (Source: Pew Research) Considering ISIS partially had its origin in Iraq, claiming Syrian refugees are secret ISIS insurgents is unlikely, despite this fact- the instability, homelessness, and civil unrest here in the USA needs to be addressed first before a population the media conditioned the average American to fear is a terrible idea for everyone.

Furthermore, despite there is evidence that rebellious young men from the all over the world rebel and join ISIS/ISIL/Daesh including the USA- it is impossible to say where the next attack may come from, or if.  Yes, there are reports that one of the suspects of the French attack was Syrian, but it was a fault of the Greek vetting process over the French, technically.

Regardless, my stance remains the same.

Despite the fact it is unlikely a Syrian themselves is going to commit any action against this country- the level of fear is high enough that it is reasonably safe to expect that there will be an increase in violence.  Most likely from Americans against the entirety of the Muslim population without the ability to differentiate even the basic differences between Islam, Sikhism, Hindu, or Tengari.   Sikh populations in particular are at high risk for their traditional head wear and religiously-required beard.  But, as you can read from the following article, are an entirely independent religion far separate from any recognized threats to national security .

Here is an article about a Sikh man being attacked in Chicago as a victim of misplaced anti-Islamic violence.   Sikhism is actually from the Punjabi region of India- not even remotely close to the same people.

If the average American is so ignorant as to not be able to discern the very clear distinctions between religious practitioners and seems to hold a particularly strong fear of Islam in particular, bringing in more Islamic people is NOT going to assuage that fear simply out of the reactionary violence that is already occurring and will continue to occur at even greater levels as the sensationalism of the media increases and decreases to suit those who control our media for whatever their aim.

For the record, I get my news from the internet and directly from people these issues affect.

In irony, I have found out of every population and subculture I interact with, fellow Heathens have overall had the most rational reactions to the current distressing events both at home and abroad and seem to be well-grounded (mostly) and I have enjoyed private conversations with many of you on these issues in the past week.  Thank you for being my encouragement and sanity when it feels sometimes that the opinions of those around me shift too rapidly to keep track of; which to me shows a lack of education on the situation.  I will try to remedy this as best as I am able.

I studied Near East Diplomacy in college as recently as 2012 and the current situation in Syria was predicted by several professors both in my college and papers I read from other academic institutions at the time. I attended in my early 30’s.

My official certifications are as follows: BA: Religious Studies: Persian focus.  BA: Philosophy: Arabic Philosophy/Philosophy of Sciences.  Minor: International Studies: Iranian Diplomacy.

There is more than just Sunni and Shi’i’ Islam- in Saudi Arabia, there are Wahabists who although are technically Sunni have distinctive customs that rather put them at odds with much of the rest of Islam except for the fact that their country is the home of Mecca and their obscene amounts of wealth and influence over United States foreign policy (perhaps, even rivaling Israel in funds).   Regardless, it is my belief that Saudi Arabia instead of FUNDING other countries to take in refugees- should actually be forced to take them in as the birthplace of Islam as well as having both the perfect space and ability to do so where other countries struggle with xenophobia and increased rates of hate crimes which would not occur.  I will get into more detail about Saudi Arabia later in this essay.

For a few days after the attack on Paris, people reached out to me looking for honest news sources and I provided them. Three days later, suddenly, it seemed that the Folkish view of protecting our lands and borders died suddenly in favor of a virus known as “Political Correctness”-  I ended up attacked with ad hominem attacks suddenly by people who were very highly educated.  Friends of mine who are current academics suggested I blog about what I have learned in my studies.  Although my concentration was clearly focused on Iranian studies, it is impossible to study Iran without understanding the other significant countries and interactions within the region.   The problems with Syria have evolved over the years and this is not a new issue, so I have the ability to actually have enough information to have a rather solid, resource backed opinion on the topic that can only be changed not by media, but by a fundamental change in circumstances in our own country- not in theirs or any other.

I have had SJW’s (Social Justice Warriors) Scroll back through my postings online and attack me personally in public and private with name-calling attacks as they claim their “moral superiority”.  Although I envy their Utopian view of society at large, in the rootlessness of our current technological dependencies, I note that people have been playing the “Unfriend me if you believe (statement)”;  This leads to the illusion for people who ask for such actions to be taken that those who agree with their point of view represents a majority viewpoint rather than “preaching to the choir”, so to speak.

Here are the issues as I was educated:

First of all, despite the Emma Lazarus poem, “The New Colossus” which is etched into the plaque at the foot of the Statue of Liberty…. our country has been short on “Liberty” for quite some time.  We do not even have legislators who care about the needs of the American people over the American dollars that bribe them.

The very first thing I learned in Middle Eastern Studies, and most veterans I have met have confirmed this:  Our presence is not at all welcome in the Middle East in any military fashion.   The occupation of most of the region by US forces has been largely problematic both for our soldiers as well as the civilians trapped in what is actually a series of small, endless wars from what seems to them like an endless assortment of factions.

The other thing to understand is that the civilian population is usually the last to know, if they are made aware at all, of the true state of most diplomatic alliances between the US and any foreign power that is not an “uncontroversial” ally.  For instance, our relationships with Canada and Great Britain are pretty clearly established in the American super-consciousness, but not so much anything intellectual with Western Asia outside of Israel.  (Which I will desperately try to leave for a future post, but I will have to touch on Israel’s influence briefly on the situation currently in Syria.)

Like Dominoes, each country interacts with the same regularity, but more vitriol, than each state of the United States.
( If Pennsylvania had bombs, Delco, Montgomery, and Berks counties would be ocean-side communities after they would eliminate New Jersey, for instance.  Texas and Oklahoma would be mutually annihilated, and the Packers/Vikings Rivalry would take on extra urgency for Wisconsin vs. Minnesota.  I’ve lived a lot of places. )

President Obama has been actually sending kind, diplomatic greetings on the cultural holidays of many of these countries- something expected of all world leaders to all other countries really, and it has been a pleasant return to diplomacy for the United States; namely non-violent interaction which has been absent basically since prior to 1979.

However,  It should also be established that the office of the presidency is simply the “public face” of the USA- the real legislative power really lies in the hands of those who pay off our congress and supreme courts.   We ourselves are under the governance of a corporate oligarchy that pays off our politicians to put footnotes (“pork”) into bills of an unrelated nature that actually dramatically alter the American political landscape far more dramatically than anything the average citizen even has the opportunity to vote upon.

The point is this:  Little more than diplomatic presence should be the extent of our interaction with the region.  We should have a Consulate in each country to protect our citizens working/visiting abroad and help with legal troubles encountered therein, but otherwise, we should be laisaiz faire regarding the Middle East.   Our entire US system of trade needs to be overhauled to focus more on utilizing our ample natural resources more effectively reducing our reliance on oil from this region halfway around the world considering on our lands we have just as much available to us here- and furthermore, our larger landmass makes it insane that we do not utilize alternative energies that Europe has embraced such as solar power (Most solar in Spain was over parking lots- space already developed) and wind generation.

America is broken- unless the refugees we are bringing in are also bringing in anti-corruption magic and every formerly successful business in Syria to employ Americans, even then most of the United States will be unnecessarily terrified not only of the new refugees, but the already existing problems we are facing with our severely decreased standard of living and deteriorating healthcare systems. (Personal experience/experiences of friends who needed surgery in the past year. **

The average civilian in the Middle East honestly has no idea why “America” is in their villages.  The soldiers who are returning home have relayed likewise.  Outside of a few rare stories where our military had the opportunity to engage in humanitarian missions (usually medics) where the people where grateful for our presence; the problem lies where we are actually fundamentally blamed for the unrest and instability of the entire region.

In fact, we provided the funding for Al Qaeda in Afghanistan/Pakistan, here is Hilary Clinton speaking on the issue.

Here is the video of Vladimir Putin indicating the US is at fault for ISIS (which explains why they never attacked Israel on behalf of Palestine).   

With the second:  Understand that Putin is explaining this in particular to the USA in the sense that it has already been assumed by the rest of the world that we were the one’s who armed ISIS/ISIL/Daesh in the first place… that is the common perception.   The Truth?  I have no idea, but as a Lokean, it’s relatively easy to discern the problems even if somehow we are “scapegoats” for this particular fiasco.  If we funded them, or did not fund them: The world believes we funded them.

That is a serious problem, and setting a stage here in the US for more American upon Muslim violence was horribly shortsighted.

If you aren’t fond of videos and prefer to read- here is a detailed account of how ISIS was created via US intervention into Middle Eastern policy primarily over oil control.   but the facts do seem to align with other sources I read/watched internationally…and it’s short and sweet.

To understand this, it really goes as far back to a combination of our newly-discovered reliance on oil in the 1900’s as well as our unconditional support of the Israeli city-state.
I will not speak much on this except to report that outside of personal hardships endured by some in the region, the greatest humanitarian concern for Islamic peoples is compassion for Palestine and fear of nuclear retaliation of Israel.

To say that ISIS/ISIL/Daesh represent Islam is impossible considering most people within the organization are too illiterate to even read the Qur’an and also, if they were truly Islamic in the classical definition of such- non-radical Islamic people believe in ratifying and protecting the people of Palestine and are more appalled at the settlement expansion of Israel than they do about the USA, except in that the USA may be the only country remaining that was seen to support Israeli actions unconditionally up until recently.  (Hence, why we are now in talks with Iran.  Many of our pharmaceuticals come from Israeli companies.  Iran lacks the resources for chemotherapy drugs, but has one of the best Pharmacological programs in the world in University of Tehran.)

Here is a link provided to me by my political science professor on the average ISIS member.

Here is a brief synopsis of what happened in Syria in Video: 

For those of you who hate videos, a short synopsis: When the current leader of Syria came into power (Assad), he was supportive  of the Christian minority and the Muslim majority believed he was showing untoward favoritism  and anti-Assad civilians reacted with extraordinary violence towards the Christian minority since the Christians supported his regime.

Here is a fairly decent article on that particular precursor conflict that seems to be absent of mention in the current political dialogue I do not approve of the weasel-words nor the over-the-top Christian tone of the article, but again, the facts line up with what I have been told by friends from the region.

The United States and other countries evacuated the Christian Syrians last decade, the last I know coming over in 2012. Also, during this time the Kurdish, who have been seeking a permanent homeland, took advantage of the conflict to attempt to rebel against Syria for their own purpose of gaining sovereignty in the midst of the existing turmoil.

Then ISIS/ISIL/Daesh just began to attack the lot of them (but yet, ignores the plight of Palestine which is the linchpin of malcontent regarding Islam)…and the Muslims are now seeking asylum.

However, the information I cannot find is how the already settled Christian Syrian refugees are expected to faire with the Muslim refugees who were murdering their families a decade prior.

I advised that it is not safe to take in refugees into the USA simply because we do not have all the information on the matter, the public outrage is high, and US cities have already been suffering from race-riots for several months prior to the latest catastrophe and that it would be dangerous to all refugee peoples here who cannot tell who is “new” verses who has settled here peacefully and immersed themselves into US culture already.

Furthermore, in Mina, Saudi Arabia, there are enough air conditioned tents to house 5 million people comfortably that are only used one week an entire year for the pilgrimage in Mecca- but since the US and Saudi Arabia are in some sort of pact, we do not hold the “seat” of Islam accountable for taking care of their own people despite having more than enough means to do so.  Please see this link.  It is the ONLY link I have found on this topic.

Mina, Saudi Arabia is incredibly significant since it is the birthplace of Islam and the tents exist to welcome incoming pilgrams for Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca that each Muslim person is expected to attempt to make sometime in their lifetime.  Hajj takes place 5 days a year, every year based on the lunar calendar.  There have been conflicting reports regarding the refugee burden actually taken by Saudi Arabia, but it is known and resented that Mina has not been opened to these people.  Here is the Wiki on Saudi Arabia via Syrians.   Here, the problem with the situation lies in the fact that the United States has an alliance with Saudi Arabia that is frankly rather questionable considering their human rights violations are extraordinarily high compared to countries we have held sanctions against for much less such as Cuba.  Saudi Arabia forbids women to drive, has Muslim-only privileges within the country, and has wealth beyond calculation on account of the oil-boom.  The stereotype of the “Rich, Saudi Prince” is both accurate and inaccurate considering the slave population and the poverty of the lowest classes of people is so devastatingly tragic that during Hajj, the poorer sections of Mina and Medina are actually “Walled off” so they are not easily viewed by the incoming foreigners…  I watched a fascinating documentary about a South Africaan man who traveled to Hajj and decided to spend his time feeding the poor instead of the typical ritualistic actions that take place in those five days.  (which is now partially indoors, lined with shops and vendors, and the “tents” for the pilgrims have better A/C and newer plumbing than the home I just purchased.)

So, in the eyes of those who live in the region, study the region, or are even remotely aware of the region- the idea that Mina is NOT open to Islamic refugees is reprehensible.

Furthermore, the countries that took in refugees prior to us in large numbers, most particularly Sweden where we know many people, the rates for rape and crime have exploded.  Whether or not it is from the actual refugees or in reaction TO the refugees is immaterial, here is an NPR article on the topic.   It took a few links to find an unbiased newssource on this topic considering I discount any source that begins with ad hominem logical fallacies in the title.  I encourage all of you to google Sweden Syrian Refugee Crime, and you can see the issue I am having.

Sweden, usually seen as a sort of Socialist Utopia- is actually quite insular culturally with friends of mine who are not Swedish who moved there, speak fluently and look no different to my untrained eye from native-Swedes faced discrimination long before this issue even occurred.

Furthermore, it’s not an issue of “Syrians”, per see.  Last decade our country welcomed the Syrian Christian minority asylum in this country and they came with no fanfare, speak English, and I attended college with a few of them.   Arab Spring started out with the best of intentions and ended up actually exacerbating every problem the region already had.  Assad representing the Christian minority began with opposition from the Muslim majority resulting in extreme persecution of the Christians who then sought asylum here.  Some of them were my classmates in college.  They spoke perfect English and were mostly STEM majors- the exact type of immigrant Americans generally tend to love who just merge into the culture seamlessly.  Those Syrians actually provided an excellent counterpoint to all the Irani-immersion I experienced and really helped me a great deal in balance and understanding the differences in cultures between each of the countries of the region.

What does not make sense is if the USA brought in the Christian minority to escape the Islamic majority that was committing violent acts against them and is also utilizing the same intake locations- what protections are in place for the Christian-minority Syrians who have already lived as perfect immigrants who largely and quickly assimilated to American culture?  I have noticed my friends from Syria have been dead-silent on social media and in the current political climate are concerned about communications via electronic means.   For those who know me very well, talking about controversial topics via the internet or phone is not usually ideal.  I come from a family of government contractors and I tend to find my way in and out of social situations fairly regularly where my phonelines get “tapped”*

There are some Political Scientists and Theologians who have warned of radical Islam expanding in “Trojan horse” fashion for several years. Most people in ISIS have not read the Quran, their uniting goal of most of their members is a combination of illiteracy and desperation from coming from cities that have been destroyed by 30 years worth of war either with/paid for the West or suffered under puppet dictatorships we controlled (I.e. Saddam Hussein, former federal agent).  We have deposed more democratically-elected leaders than we ever installed, even go as far as to re-install the monarchy system in Iran in the 1950’s with the assassination of Iranian Prime minister Mosaddegh in the 1950’s and putting puppet Shah Reza Pahlavi in his stead who was more friendly to American interests.  Until he was overthrown by the Iranian people for his personal decadence in 1979- which was a prelude to both the Iranian hostage crisis (bribed out by Reagan) as well as the Theocratic takeover of Iranian culture and society by the cleric-class of Ayatollahs.

Here is a lovely article on how modern the Middle East USED to be prior to the results of the interference of Western colonialism.  Hardly backwards, these people look on-par with any other first world country of their time period.  No, the Middle East was not a bunch of backwards primitives.  That has been a sadly recent development.

Prior to the latter part of the 20th century, West Asia produced more great mathematicians than the United States.

The problem with the internet is people are now choosing only to associate with people who share their specific point of view; this means the people who are pro-refugee see little of what the anti-refugee people have to say and vice-versa and that is creating yet ANOTHER division within the fractured American fabric.

Sweden, where I have many friends, accepted refugees prior to the US and is experiencing crime/rape rates in the triple digits and they are taking actions to actually eject what refugees they have.

This will result in increased violence in the USA. I do not know yet if it will be from the Syrians themselves or from Americans reacting to the Syrians, or even another staged tragedy put on my the government or even from frightened, reactionary US citizens.  Regardless, the danger should be noted and addressed without censure and with dialogue.

All I know is that people are being brainwashed by the media so rapidly their opinions change like the breeze. I am posting this here right now because my opinions have not changed since 2012, and I suffered greatly in the Diplomacy program I was in when I was interrogated by my own country when my program lost all funding (as did all others that were civilian).

The pure vitriol of educated “enlightened” people has me taken aback for certain; I notice my friends from Syria and the Middle East are largely laying low, terrified, right now.

I have also found the only “safe” peoples to talk to are either Odinists or experts… I have not been online much myself seeing as they is no way to have a dialogue with a wall of ad-hominem attacks from self-proclaimed “enlightened” folks who seem bent on trying to convince me I am a “bigot”, a “racist”, and “heartless” for living between two cities that have been rioting frequently for around 6 months BEFORE the refugee problem

Many people seem to believe only “bad people” would not take in refugees from a broken country. Many people cannot concentrate on the possibility that this country, too, is broken and we need to withdraw entirely from the global stage as much as we are able to solve our own pressing civil unrest in many of our Eastern cities of the USA.

Odinists we know personally have all bought land and headed for the country, as have we in the past year.

For the first time, the few Christians I have befriended have a similar stance on the issue, although mostly based on fear rather than education on the region; I still appreciate their caution which is wise even if it is out of fear instead of Wisdom.

In closing, further military involvement of the United States in this regions is highly inadvisable- and taking in a group of people that the American people of which the average American is already terrified; the Americans will not become used to this, chances are- there will just be a sharp decline in our standard in living and more unjustified violence perpetuated by a frightened population of citizens who are largely kept in the dark regarding foreign policies and lost in the media uproar of inaccuracy and sensationalism…

….while real, violent events occurring in real cities across the United States are minimized and without national media coverage which plays into the delusions of the educated suburbanites that everything is “fine” and that “nothing bad will happen”.

As far as military goes?  Complete withdrawal, but until and after that time occurs, support our veterans for their work is more difficult than even I can comprehend.

As a people, we need to STOP the divides of information.   As for how to treat refugees as a Heathen?  Follow the Hamaval and treat each person as an individual.  It’s the Heathen way.

“The wise guest has his way of dealing
With those who taunt him at table:
He smiles through the meal,
not seeming to hear
The twaddle talked by his foes.

The tactful guest will take his leave Early,
not linger long:
He starts to stink who outstays his welcome
In a hall that is not his own.”

There are refugees here already.  Treat them with hospitality and do not be one of the newest causes of strife on this soil.
The best thing to do is simply try to stay safe- the safest being moving to rural areas in the upcoming years and staying as far away from cities as possible.

Why a Heathen/Odinist would enjoy a city with it’s lack of nature, I will never know.  But a dead man affects no changes and cannot support a family.
Support Heathen veterans, listen to the young and the old and listen to their experiences.  Share Yule and Thanksgiving with vets who might not have a place to go.

Honestly, our Veterans returning home now can provide you with an even better education than I or any political scientist ever could in many cases…. just be sensitive if they have psychological trauma.

My primary trauma is from the interrogation I endured from this bullshit;  I’ve been through NOTHING compared to anyone who has been on Tour of Duty.

Thank you hearing me out. I do not foresee this situation improving anytime soon.   I am all in favor of Russia handling it considering it directly affects the Russian population in proximity than it does us an ocean away.


*/**Since the US has entered into open dialogue with Iran, I feel intellectual and emotional freedom to speak on my past experiences where before I was terrified of further trauma.

For the majority of my time in Persian Studies, I was notified my lines were tapped, my car was followed since I was under “kidnapping risk” over being assistant to an entirely different professor who wrote  about gay rights and Islam in a positive light.  At the end of it all, all linguistics programs in Farsi were defunded, I ended up in 5 hours worth of interrogation on US soil.    Without even passing the strange diplomacy program I found myself in, I did have a brief window into a very strange world where the guy checking my passport at the airport knew more about my life at the time than my own father, and I came off what I thought was a random boat from Tarifa, Spain to Tangiers, Morocco to be met by an official government assigned tour guide specifically for me despite making the trip on a complete whim on a Friday afternoon.

It’s okay, I’m used to it between growing up Baltic when the USA did not understand that the Baltic States struggled against Russian ownership (or any ownership) and for my grandma’s friends  of entirety Latvian old ladies into “potential spies”.  They were not entirely inaccurate.  My deceased grandfather led an interesting spy-type life prior to being “paperclipped” to the USA.

The only way a Latvian old lady could kill someone is with Latvian traditional cooking.  Ask my husband.

After all I’ve been through, my curiosity regarding my grandfather’s several-country non-mercenary military service interests me highly, but every single time I have the ability to look into it further, the political climate of this country is not ideal to do so.  Now would be a terrible time, for instance…

However, without the experiences of my maternal grandfather and my father, I would not have found myself in the position to have the information to write this.

I also thank my former Political Science professors for the majority of the links in this post. I will add his name if/when approved to do so as further resources if I can.

Who Will Defend the Village?

Posted in Justice, Uncategorized on March 31, 2015 by Tyrienne

Enemies had been spotted at sea and young Sven ran as quick as his legs would carry him to the village to rally all the people together to defend themselves.

There, he saw Olaf, dipping his genitals into paint and pressing them up against every house he could.

“Quick, Olaf! We need your spear- the village is going to be attacked!” exclaimed Sven.

“Sven….can’t you see that I am making a statement here?  Without my genitals pressed against these walls, people will not know my displeasure at the thought of the village being invaded!”

Sven shook his head and ran further into the village where he met Ilse, the swordsmith.

“Oh, Sven… I would love to help defend the village- but you see, I need to lose an ENTIRE boulder’s worth of weight before I am fit to be seen outside the village by invaders!”

“But….you make swords…”

“Yeah, I make swords….but what is the point of holding a sword if I can’t look AMAZING doing it?”

Sven shook his head, and ran further in where he ran into Eske-

“ESKE!!!! You are the strongest man here! Please! Help me defend the village!”

“Stongest?  No….you mean FATTEST!  The invaders would laugh at me, I’ve seen their paintings and they don’t look as I do.   Sorry, but I am too embarrassed by my size to help you- try someone better looking.”

So, frustrated, Sven went to Axel, the most beautiful man in the village….he was painting a picture of himself on a rock.

“Save the village?  SAVE THE VILLAGE?  Can’t you see that I’m busy?  I’ve worked SO HARD to be this perfect that it is of utmost importance that I paint a picture of myself for the ages for other people to admire my physical perfection…besides, if I were to fight, I might get disfigured- then who would the people look to for inspiration?”

Time and time again, Sven went to each villager and begged them for their assistance in saving their home- and each time, he was met with superficial excuses regarding trivialities which each villager thought was more personally important.  Whether it be debating other villagers on the finer points of village-defense (without lifting a single weapon), working to be better looking or strong-enough looking to be worthy of defending the village, or simply telling Sven “They didn’t feel like it”- Every adult had a reason why they could not defend the village, but some were kind enough to offer their sympathies.


An old man in the village replied “Oh, Sven…. your problem is that you aren’t focusing on the present moment!  I don’t see any invaders… In my wisdom I have learned to live just for this moment, for there might not be another.  Invaders might come, they might not…. you don’t know….”


“Yeah, but they ain’t here yet!” said another , “I am busy making necklaces…. if I don’t finish them tonight they won’t be done in time for the next feast!”


“Well, I think that would be a great idea to not have feasts anymore,” replied Ilse, “Then, I wouldn’t gain anymore weight.  How will I ever be fit to be seen enough to hold a sword unless I lose more weight?”


“You just don’t understand what’s important, Sven… I am improving MYSELF… you are simply just trying to upset EVERYONE with your constant yelling.  It’s really irritating.” said Axel.  “There is nothing more noble than Self Improvement and the admiration of others!”

Defeated, Sven went to the woods where he saw the children playing with their wooden swords, and he asked them, “Would you like to be REAL warriors, children?”

All the children, boys and girls from youngest to almost teenager screamed in unison:


“Then follow me.”

So, Sven lead the children to the shore and inspected their weapons, encouraged them to fight on the beaches to their hearts content as he waited for the invaders. Fat or slender, beautiful or ugly, tall or small, all the children had a marvelous time waiting for the invaders.

When the leader of the hostile ships came to shore, Sven cried out to them in several languages until he found one to which the leader of the ships replied… “What is it you want, little man?”

“I want to tell you there is a village full of idiots over that hill, and the children and I would like to help you, join you in showing you where they keep all their food, since you are likely starving from your journey,  and in exchange become real warriors by joining you rather than staying here surrounded by these boring people…. People might call you ‘invaders’, however, this village would never have the guts and initiative your people have shown by even reaching here.  I think our children deserve better than what this village can offer them.”

The leader of the invaders looked confused, then remembered his children at home… and shrugged.  Why not?  Seemed like a fair exchange all things considered, and together, the invaders, Sven and all the children pillaged their entire village leaving the idiots homeless as they sailed off and had great adventures for the rest of their lives- Learning that living in cooperation with other people was so much more satisfying, educational, and fulfilling than all the silly “self-improvement” that the other villagers were so singularly focused on.  The children had never had such kind adult attention before since all the adults of their old village were always “too busy” for them as well.  They were much happier with their new people- and from those children, legends were made.

As for the village?  No one ever heard of them again except for countless paintings of genitals  found in the wreckage and a rock that bore some resemblance to some random guy.

The end.

/Check your priorities, stop taking selfies, and contribute something meaningful to humanity, damnit.

Respecting our Magical Legacy: Eastern Pennsylvania

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2015 by Tyrienne
Card from

Card from “The Wild Unknown” tarot deck… (which I only wish I owned…soon?)

One of the many ideas I agree with put forth by Anton LaVey is “Do not deny that which grants you power.”  Today, I attended a large Metaphysical expo in Reading, Pennsylvania and a small event is a inspiration for this post.   I was sitting in on the gallery being held by my very first teacher in metaphysics, when at the end of the presentation my husband “caught” a well-known reader I have known for over 20 years staring at my husband’s tattoo of the sigil of Saint Cyprion- generally considered to be “Dark” by New-Ager standards.   The gentleman, as soon as he was noticed, averted his eyes and looked away quickly, seemingly unnerved. However, in knowing this man as long as I have, I knew he was not unfamiliar with personal spiritual practices which are entirely NOT “New-Ager Approved”.

….What bothered me is this:  the fact that I know this man so well, but yet he did not want to be “caught” in recognizing that tattoo (and likely others) my husband wears even though he, himself has likely utilized many equally “dark” practices in his own life.  (I do not believe in the dichotomy of “light=good”/”dark=bad”.)

Instead of a great opportunity to share, ask questions, and share ideas: he turned away- and it dawned on me that this same action was endemic but in reverse with many well-known spiritualist in our local and national Heathen community of people who see themselves as “born again” into Heathenry… and do not pay enough respect to the people and traditions that brought them the wisdom and skills they apply to their personal religious practice as well as how they present themselves to Heathenry at large.

Heathenry out-in-the-open is new in Pennsylvania in comparison to other “out” pagan/metaphysical traditions in Pennsylvania.  I know this because I was actually around when Der Heidevolkstam, Hawkafel, and other kindreds rose and fell.  I knew ABOUT them, but I did not interact with them when I first became open about my Heathen background.  Instead, I joined the kindred run by a very close friend of mine I had known since I was 15 or 16 and we all decided it was best to not be involved with the larger community.  (My family wasn’t even truly comfortable with the amount I did expose of my family traditions even at that time, and with the exception of Grandma, still feel “cagey” about sharing.)

I was born in Eastern Pennsylvania- and if you look closely at the modern Heathen community in the United States, you will find that many of the most well known of our magical practitioners are either also from this general region if not from New England/other Mid-Atlantic states.  The reason for this, simply from my observation, is the very strong communities both in modern Wicca and/or Witchcraft as well as the prevalence of the New-Age movement in this area which is well-established and worked tirelessly for acceptance.  Just in the city of Reading alone, there is a plethora of shops where to buy candles, sage, Florida water, and other necessities.  (I personally prefer visiting the shop Celtic Myth and Moonlight and Bodega’s for such things locally- living in Spain for a semester helped immensely with the latter!)

Not to say that people who do not claim to have any spiritual gifts are any less gifted/necessary/important to the community- they are.  However, one problem I have never yet addressed is the lineage of teachings from which many of us truly owe our reputations, wisdom, and insights.

I’ll begin: I was raised on the Main Line for my elementary years; a block away one of the greatest witches I know had two children about my age and she and I enjoyed a pleasant relationship.  I lived in the same house as my Latvian grandma, and my Pennsylania Dutch grandparents were only five minutes away.  My mother was abusive, however, my neighbors were kind and my family was close enough nearby that I was fairly safe from being killed, except for being pushed down a staircase and a few times where my father would pull my mother off of my young body as she tried to choke me….but then, thankfully, would send me to Nana’s to recover.  My great-grandparents were also still alive- my Nana’s mother was a bit of a Braucher, and I enjoyed nearly monthly visits to see my extended family in Mount Penn, near Reading Pa.  It wasn’t ideal, but looking back- I was so incredibly fortunate to have that time of relative safety.  I was intuitive because I had to be; I read my mother’s Llewellyn books for protection (but often got punished for that as well)…and my grandma’s Latvian friends had taught me how to read cards, how to read the shaped of molten metal poured into cold water every New Year’s eve, as well as countless folktales about Latvia and the “Old Religion”.   We went to Lutheran churches, however, at home- the house I was raised in was a convoluted mess of strange traditions/customs, medicinal plants, candles, and what I was convinced was a haunted attic that terrified the shit out of me.

I was twelve years old when we moved, and the abuse increased…however, I was then “old enough” (according to my father) that I could “survive my mother”.

Again, I was fortunate… one of my neighbors, Linda,  was a New-Ager and she looked after me a great deal and allowed me to tag along to my very first experience of a  New Age Faire run by Rosemarie Moyer.  From the Latvian side of my family, I has learned how to read playing cards in a wheel pattern, so for fun, I was allowed to set up a small table.  From that table of only charging somewhere around the insane sum of somewhere between $5-$10 a reading, I gained the attention of the coordinator of the fair and the owner of the land: Rose.  Rose honestly took me under her wing- taught me the tarot and lent me countless books throughout my teenage years in addition to allowing me to come with her to almost every fair she attended and Rose was even able to talk my mother into submission at times.   I was a novelty: I read in faires from Rockville to Reading, Pa and I even developed close friendships that exist to this day among most of the other vendors….and learned about Bey’s rock shop, which I suppose I could call “The Vatican of all Rock Shops”.   If you ever bought a crystal or unusual stone from any Metaphysical type store- it either came from Bey’s or was ordered online.

From Linda’s best friend (also named Linda), I learned some Reiki before she passed on.  At each faire, I had no shortage of people to learn all sorts of interesting things from Geology (I always loved rocks- my mom couldn’t break them!) to every kind of divination one can imagine- I loved to barter the most of all!   I read card professionally from age 12 to about age 16, even going so far as to get certified by the American Tarot association (likely long expired) and procuring a cheap business license to allow me to read in even more places.  Despite the fact I did not drive, I either found rides from other local vendors, and later, from friends who were exploring Wicca.

In my late teens, I joined the AmeriCorps Vista program and was assigned to work for the Cherokee Heritage center in Tahlequah, OK.  I have been accused by native’s of “the ‘Quah'” That I tend to idealize this town more than it’s fair share…. however, in this place I was surrounded by so many differing forms of metaphysical spirituality, both Native American as well as any other type imaginable, that my six months in that town solidified the importance of the metaphysical as a necessary and fundamental part of my life, so much so, that to ignore it is actually harmful to my mental health.  Even those who claimed “not to be into all that woo-woo stuff”- were still more magical than “muggle” . (Thank you, J.k. Rowling, before you- the terminology for those who were non-intuitive was far more derogatory!)

In my twenties, I leveraged my reputation as an established member of the metaphysical community to score a job working in a “Witch Store” in New Hope, Pennsylvania- the spiritual nexus of Wicca for Eastern Pennsylvania work- while spending as much time as I possibly could learning as much as Ed and Eric down at Mystical Tymes a few doors down from where I worked.  I still converse with Eric frequently and endevour to make the long, complicated trek at least once a year from Reading to New Hope still.  There is no better source for homemade incense blends I can recommend commercially- in addition to them having every known sort of pendant for every kind of pagan religious practice without any form of discrimination.

The terms “light” and “dark” lost their biased meanings to me somewhere between Oklahoma and New Hope- I learned that some of the foulest people claim to perform acts “only in the name of light”- while some of the most thoughtful and caring claim to be “dark magicians”.   Truly, I do not believe anyone can be fully rounded as a sensitive without a basic understanding that both selflessness (typically seen as a “light” trait) can lead to martyrdom and “pity me” syndrome- the self-interest and introspection that is considered the foundation of the “dark” side of metaphysics is necessary to retain balance.

For a few years in my 20’s, like many others… attempted to be “normal”.  I blocked out almost everyone except for a select few people.  I was in a neglectful relationship at best and my contact with the “magic” world was minimal as I worked in dead-end retail jobs and I intentionally blocked out the synaestesia that helped me survive my abusive childhood.   Magic was my refuge from abuse-  by being able to help others with their problems and relying on my own intuition in that helping, I was distracted from my own troubles in my teenage life enough to function rather normally.  The times in my life I have strived for “typical” normalcy (i.e. financial success, material possessions, or base achievements) are the very same times in my life that I have been at my very lowest mental-health wise as well.
I felt like the fire in my heart had gone out from the difficulty of living on my own without a true safety net-  I had random roommates I met on Craigslist, and I struggled often to make ends meet by holding down up to three jobs at a time concurrently.  A “main” job in retail as well as  delivering pizzas- then a 2 week bartending class allowed for me to become a bartender as well.  Bartending brought back a small amount of spirituality to my life seeing my clientele at the VFW and local bars I tended were mostly veterans. At this time, I also discovered that Heathenry existed outside of my family and I became the Gythia of a small kindred in Pennsylvania- this was before I knew of the existence of any “national” organizations, prior to me meeting any Heathen leaders or any such thing.  The kindred was (and still is) self-sufficient as much as we are able to be.

At age 27, after a few years of living my life on emotional autopilot, I met a young man online, fell in love and moved in with him to Canada.  He and his family were UUC’s- a very liberal branch of Christianity that was rather Gnostic and very metaphysical in their beliefs- although the relationship failed, through the difficulties presented in a new country and adapting to the difficulty of living with and loving someone who relied on his spirituality so strongly but at the same time was so incredibly difficult to live with on account of his newly-diagnosed DID (multiple personalities).

I found myself forced to acknowledge everything I had ever learned spiritually to survive the experience…. including the synaestesia which I believes was “seeing auras”, was actually sound-based crossing of the senses.  I was tested by a Canadian doctor and my ability to see weird colors (which I blocked out out of fear of my family history of schizophrenia) was actually a very important tool that I simply attempted to “throw away” which allowed for me to not only survive my childhood, but thrive as a member of several communities when I was younger.  With my synaestesia, my inabilities to understand normal human interactions were more than compensated for with colors, and with those colors, I could perceive healthy from unhealthy situations to an extent which I could not when I intentionally ignored that trait.

I also suffered from a great deal of resentment, I was unable to attend University of Colorado (on full scholarship) at the age of 20 on account of my parents falsely claiming me on my taxes… which in the eyes of FAFSA, voided my legal emancipation at age 17- and brought my parent’s income into account.

When I was in the process of leaving Canada I was already 27 years of age (beyond the point where my parent’s income was a factor), my ex made me promise him I would at least TRY to attend the best college I could find for religious studies and apply to become a multi-faith chaplain.   I felt strongly this was the correct course of action, and there was only one school outside of Harvard that I knew of that held such a lofty reputation….which just so happened to be BACK in Eastern Pennsylvania, yet again: Moravian College.  The third oldest university in the USA as well as attached to a seminary with an exceptional reputation.   I promised myself I would breeze through undergraduate studies without any thought to the present and focus entirely on my goal of reaching graduate school.

I was surprised I was accepted, and with my acceptance to this (at the time rather selective) school, I found myself recovering from a traumatic break-up of a relationship and back in the abusive relationship I left prior.  At the same time I began my time at Moravian it was the same time Moravian was “trying out” a new professor: a self-proclaimed Sufi of the Khorasani school of Iran who also was suffering from the same form of PTSD I was.  We became close- from him, I developed a strong renewed interest in the works of Molavi (Rumi) as well as Muhammad Iqbal.   I became at odds with my kindred as I was rather diverted from my initial intentions of becoming “legally official” clergy into somehow now finding myself in diplomacy and language training in hopes that the Iranian Green Revolution would be successful and I imagined myself as playing a minor (but delusionally optimistic) role in helping to heal the rift between the USA and Iran.

Bethlehem, Pa is yet another stronghold for the pagan community-  I spent some time away from the Heathen community for two or three years and believed it held “nothing more” for me at that time. I became deeply involved with the local Baha’i, attended all open ceremony held by the Cabot-Butler tradition which dominated the town, and even found a niche with a very random group of Discordian chaos magicians who were only “passingly friendly” with one another.   Further, I spent some time devoting my energies to the Unitarian Church of Bethlehem, and following that, just as much time in the local Mosque and studying the esoteric aspects of the Qu’ran for my thesis on the connection between the Physics of Time Theory and the perception of Time as seen by Sufi mystics- which were eerily similar to me.

In a way, in college, I was a bit of a Heirophant (hence the card at the top)… I learned overwhelming amounts of knowledge in seemingly infinite directions.  Living in Bethlehem allowed me to reconnect with the New-Age movement friends I had been out of touch with since the MUM Expo was in nearby Allentown where I shared a table with other vendors in my teenage years (but did not return to reading professionally), I had a positive reputation among the local Wiccans/Witches on account of my time in New Hope, and everything else was just a sea of endless information- in which, frankly, I was drowning by my inability to recognize boundaries and respect my own emotional, spiritual, and intellectual limitations.  Through this, I ended up plagarized in college and deeply abused from my lack of center and mistaken focus on the goal of achievement for achievement’s sake- however, I also ended up secretly homeless my last year of college and lived mostly off of charity from lack of funds outside of my increasing student loan debt.  However, I did manage to graduate cum laude with two degrees and a published thesis: World Religions (with a concentration in Islamic studies), and Philosophy- under which I wrote my thesis on the relation between mystical experience and time theory as posited by quantum mechanics.  Despite all my work on Iranian Diplomacy (and classes taken outside of Moravian on the subject). I only ended up with a minor in “International Studies”- despite the fact that the majority of my work in college seemed to be focused in that direction above and beyond my two earned degrees.

To put it simply:  I drove myself into insanity with all of this.   I desired too much.  I became a perfectionist to the point of emotional overload and for the life of me could not meet a single deadline.   My other professors were overwhelmingly forgiving, and I graduated with two degrees, cum laude, honors, and all sorts of other (mostly meaningless) academic accolades.  I was accepted into an intensive language program with the University of Maryland for Farsi, but mentally/emotionally?  I deteriorated.

With the sacking of the Canadian embassy after the failure of the Green revolution, the program which accepted me lost funding, closed, shortly thereafter, I was arrested and interrogated for 5 hours without any cause given- forced to perform demeaning physical exorcises for over 5 hours as I was insulted and threatened- and denied legal council.

Some friends of mine at the time encouraged in the months preceding to spend time back in Heathenry- and it was through the help of one of the main clergy of the AFA that I sought help at Horsham clinic- entirely broken emotionally, and religiously spent.   Thanks to the Heathen community, (coming full circle), I was able to re-integrate into Heathenry…and also, because of Heathenry, ending up in the clinic for that last time was what was able to get me into SSDI (disability) for my out-of-control flashbacks and C-PTSD nightmares which would have likely ended me in suicide without extensive psychological help and later, medical help when it turned out part of the severity of my mental illness was complicated with a serious heart condition which went unnoticed for years until AFTER I was on SSDI.  (…as of this moment,  I have been accepted into a local program which gives me some hope of being able to contribute more than the occasional blog post or random appearance at events with the help of more appropriate therapies for my conditions and live a life OFF of disability in a few years after much healing.)

Through my college blog which detailed my religious and emotional difficulties, I attracted the attention of my now-husband through Heathenry….and with him, we joined both national organizations.  One of which I burned bridges with for their disrespect for some of the Gods my biological family worshiped (Loki and Hel/Holle in particular) and the other (although we do not pay dues) I still respect and attend what events we can.

What I am trying to say by this post is this:   To most of you, I am just “The Lokean”…. I’m some stranger on the internet writing one blog out of thousands on Heathenry.  However, before Heathenry was as open and understood as it is today, family tradition Heathens all over the world found education, support, and help via many other avenues.  The Wiccans/Witches know me, the New-Ager’s know me, the Baha’i know me, as do others- but all in different ways.   Not bad for an agoraphobic- as much as I am buoyed by seeing my friends on occasion in each of these different communities, I also feel rather like a failure for not being mentally able to do “more”.

Heathenry does NOT exist in a vacuum, and those same Goethe’s and Gythias (particularly one’s older than thirty) are ALSO as equally well known in other pagan communities as well. As much as we may put up the facade of “Being 100% Heathen” that is simply untrue- Heathenry may be “home base”, especially for many of us with Northern European or Pa Dietsch backgrounds….but also, many Heathens seem to be ashamed if they came first from explorations into Wicca, Thelemics, New-Age, Unitarians, Baha’i’, Theistic Satanism, or any other metaphysical faith.

Under the umbrella of both or either metaphysics or paganism, the leaders of other communities know well the leaders of our Heathen community, and seem to care more for OUR welfare than we do theirs in many cases. (Not all, of course…. as always, Robert and Michelle do an excellent job in Philadelphia running Pagan Pride!)  Their histories and travels throughout the world of metaphysics is still followed by the communities they abandoned, and it seems to be almost embarrassed about starting out as a “Wiccan” or as a “New Age Psychic Reader”.

The actual leaders of the Wiccans and New-Agers still remember you, though….The longest running Expo being the MUM Expo in Allentown, Pa- by far the largest and most well-known of this region as far as I am aware….and yet, each year I have attended (even though I am no longer a vendor) I do not see any table for Heathenry, but I do try my best when I notice certain tattoos of Valknuts and clearly identifiable runes/Gods to give them contact information to both The Troth as well as the AFA.

Ideally, the point of this post is to maybe give a hand-up and bring forth the suggestion that in every faire, expo, and event of that nature, there SHOULD be a table manned by Heathens who will help shorten the long process of people who either were raised Heathen as I was or have found themselves drawn to our Gods and Runes and do not know of our existence.   I would like to see certain people pay homage to those who came before “open” Heathen worship existed in this region, to admit that they learned from The Witches, Wiccans, New-Agers, Satanists, Unitarians, and/or any other number of metaphysical paths prior to finding their home in Heathenry, and I would like to see the false pedestal dismantled that many Heathens hold our faith upon.

I am personally an archetypalist, I call myself “Heathen” as a designation of my ancestry as well as to the Gods that I feel most comfortable- however, we do everyone a disservice by being ignorant of other spiritual paths while their leaders still follow us, watch us with amusement, and shake their heads at our collective forgetfulness of how very much we owe those who were brave and strong enough to carve this niche in society of legitimacy we now enjoy.

In conclusion, I want to state VERY CLEARLY this DOES NOT apply to ALL OF HEATHENRY.   Those to whom it DOES apply to…. you know who you are- and *I* know who you are because the Witches Eastern Pennsylvania remember you when you were still taking your first steps to who you are today.

Thank your local Pagan/New-Age elders…. sociologically speaking, if you live in Eastern Pennsylvania- they are ALSO your elders in addition to any Heathen person of note. 🙂

(Note: As of this entry, I am equally invested into both the Heathen community as well as the Discordian/Chaos Magic community and try to maintain my positive ties from those I learned from in Witchcraft, New-Age, and other assorted spiritualists.  Hailing Eris goes well with Hailing Loki 😉 )


Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods, Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 24, 2015 by Tyrienne
I'm back- and about to lay some "hard truth" again. If you are going to comment, please be constructive. "Die Lokean Scum" is not particularly helpful, especially since I'm ACTUALLY Tyrian "scum".  Thank you.

I’m back- and about to lay some “hard truth” again.
If you are going to comment, please be constructive.
“Die Lokean Scum” is not particularly helpful, especially since I’m ACTUALLY “Tyrian Scum”…who also happens to Honor Loki and the rest of our Ancestral Gods as well without exclusion as well as a few from other pantheons as well. (Hey, I’m a polytheist, it’s not THAT uncommon)

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has read this blog in its inactivity.  I thought I was going to “leave it alone” as-is in it’s present state, and even attempted to start a new blog but I could never find the inspiration to actually use it to express myself.

Imagine my surprise when after months of ignoring this blog only to find I had over 18k views and over 100 followers. I think instead of starting new, perhaps, I shouldn’t dismiss this gift given to me by all of you by your encouragement and support.

In any case, although I have been inactive in the “blogosphere” (is that the correct term?) I have still been incredibly active in international Heathenry, making new connections and friends, discovering more about the history of my ancestry as well as getting in touch with my Urglaawe roots (Which my Dad’s family insists on calling “Folkcraft”- no other term accepted. Period.) As well as spending as much time as possible with my now publicly pagan Latvian grandma who has been translating as many books as possible for my husband and I on “The Old/Earth Religion”. (roughly translated)

So, today I spent the better part of an afternoon speaking to a Pennsylvania Deitsche historian regarding our folklore and trends within the greater Heathen community, and I realized that if I fail to use every resource given to me to help improve the image of Heathenry to the general population then I am pretty much a complete asshole if I neglect to do all that I can to do so.

So. Hi. I’m back.

Anyway, what I really NEED to say is that there are some severe problems I am observing in the American community in particular that need to be addressed while they are still simply “seeds” that can turn into a sort of poisonous Kudzu that will strangle us all and make us no different than any other major religion, namely, a socio-political dogmatic mess of contradictory and (and potentially harmful) beliefs and ideals held with good intentions but with dire consequence.

First: Those who claim to “Know everything they need to know about the Gods” and teach others are the very LAST people who should be in the position to be mentors to those called by our Gods and Ancestors. The minute a person stops seeking knowledge, stops asking questions, and proclaims themselves “Authority”- Please do not trust them. Real teachers are humble, they will not charge you a penny. Our ways of our clergy are not the same as the ways of other religions. Traditionally speaking, the role of a Heathen clergy person (Braucher, Hexer, Chieftain, Goethe, or Gythia) is seen as a great privilege and needs no physical monetary reward…but asking them to stay for a meal is considered polite/honorable. (However, I will also temper this statement by stating this is purely from my personal upbringing being raised heathen under two separate cultures: Baltic and Teutonic….other traditions, your mileage may vary).

Second: It must be understood that despite what YOU, the reader personally believe regarding Heathenry in your personal practices, there is a growing danger that we are finding ourselves increasingly defined by people OUTSIDE of Heathenry, and not only that, we are being defined by the worst, most negative people in under the mantel of “Heathenry”. What I mean to say is that as Heathenry grows in it’s myriad (heh) of forms, that the public perception of the Heathen/Asatru growth is being increasingly linked to some truly terrible ideologies that damage both the credibility of Heathenry as well as “push away” people who need it the most, which brings me to…

Third: We are being WRONGLY and WOEFULLY judged not by our best- who are generally quiet, humble people- but by our extremists. What I mean by extremists are those on BOTH sides of Extremism- Neo-Nazi’s as well as those who are so terrified of being “lumped in” with Neo-nazi’s that there are ENTIRE organizations that have formed both inside and outside of Heathenry that have become militantly destructive- going as far as to “profile” individuals based on their facebook friends and even their “likes”, and there have been INCREASING instances of people from BOTH sets of extremism actually seeking out the personal information of their “targets” and harassing them at their homes and workplaces. I don’t care who you are- that is unfrithful regardless- If you disagree with others, there are more mature ways to handle disagreements in ideology. Understanding that a everyone’s journey in life changes BY THEIR OWN VOLITION ALONE is the first step to stopping extremism, stalking, and this frightening new development.

FOURTH: Heathenry, like every other form of religion or spiritual belief system, has several different “denominations”- If you are having trouble finding one in your area that matches your personal beliefs, Please write to me ( and I use what connections and resource I have been fortunate enough to come across to connect you to people of similar mindset. Even despite my disagreements with certain National organizations, it may surprise many people to know that I “sort” people as I meet them to figure out which “denomination” will have the most like-minded spirits to help them grow. I have given out contact information for both the AFA and the Troth despite being a member of neither (and in the former, I ALWAYS say, “Don’t mention me as your source- just say you forgot my name!) As well as directing people to scholars abroad who are specialists in things that are uncommon here, such a Jotunr worship.

Since I don’t like the number four very much, I guess I’ll have to come up with:

Fifth: If you are personally a Heathen of some experience, WITHHOLDING information to make yourself feel “superior” is unethical. We do not have “sacred mysteries”- ALL of Heathenry should be UNITED by the desire to personally connect with Our Gods, Ancestors, and the natural world around us as well as to help others. No legitimate Heathen tradition should EVER respond to your questions with:

“I will tell you when *I* believe you are ready.”

NO. This means they are NOT ready for YOU. All information/knowledge/UPG should be freely shared if the person who is willing to share places themselves into a position where they STATE do not mind being approached. (Some people are private, also respect that as well, bitte.)  Like any other spiritual path, please beware of false teachers or heathen psuedo-gurus. Your best teachers are the Gods themselves… and only secondly comes anyone from humankind. Anything that takes you away from your personal “connection” to the Gods is likely unhealthy- however, be that as it may, be prepared to keep an open mind and allow your perceptions to BE challenged by reading profusely, talking to as many people on as many different paths as possible, and learning every facet of this culture and religion. No one should “Tell” you what to believe about the Gods- You are not a slave nor sheep…. take in all information and use your own heart and mind to discern what is YOUR personal truth.

I apologize for my irresponsibility, and like always- I cannot guarantee I will post often. The reason for this is I do not believe in writing “just for the sake of writing”. As evidenced by the consistent traffic on this “dead” blog, I believe it is better to wait until I have something worth expressing then to “force” myself to write when nothing moves me to do so….so far, it seems to have worked for me.

As the return of open worship of the Gods of Europe are creating greater ripples throughout the world at this time- I also need to express my sincere apologies to those who I have in the past derided for finding Heathenry(or Asatru) via Marvel movies… I have been royally “smacked” by the reality that it is better begin from benign fictions to serve as a “doorway” for those new to Heathenry into fulfilling spiritual practice than it ever is to convince a “prison-programmed” Aryan Nation recruit into being open-minded. This is not to say it can’t be done (it has, and there actually is a Heathen prison outreach program to help with this very thing!) I am just saying it is more difficult!

So, in closing, I ask you, my subscribers and those who stumble upon this blog a simple request: Please, if you have been given the ability to influence those around you, please do not shun or hide from it- We are creating the future of Heathenry by our actions, and “Hospitality” is one of the nine virtues for all you Asatuar out there!

Again, I thank you for all the kind comments I have received in these several months encouraging me to reopen this blog…. but then again, where is a better place than a blog called “Hail Loki” to share the uncomfortable truths of which ALL Heathens/Asatru should be mindful? Is that not what Loki represents 😉

A Fable for Thought.

Posted in Justice, On the Gods on December 17, 2013 by Tyrienne

[Author’s note: Please feel free to reblog this post, share it on other pages- or even take credit for it or add to it if you wish- my Yule wish is for it to make its way around the internet by Yuletide!]

…An old man came over from Scandinavia with his brother to seek his family in America.  Having no car, he walked from city to city, his face partially obscured with a wide-brimmed hat- and his brother became tan and dark in the Southern sun.  Two hounds at their feet as they traveled, up and down the Appalachian trail, through major cities, and through the smallest towns- looking for anybody who shared their blood.

On a particularly cold night, the travelers came upon a house in the woods. At this point he had walked long, his shoes had holes and his beard was unkempt- the hounds were thin with hunger, and his brother was dark like the wick of a candle with hair bright as flame.

The old man knocked, and a man and woman answered, the woman wore a hammer around her neck and the man was covered in tattoos of old stories the man himself liked to tell.

In accented English he spoke: “Greetings, my friends- the cold is growing bitter and my brother and I were looking for a place to spend the evening.  We have traveled a very long way and are incredibly tired- will you allow us in?”

The man sneered at the old man’s brother- “Not with a fucking NIGGER with you, we won’t- How do you travel with someone you can’t trust not to steal from you?”

“I do not know this term “Nigger”-  I can assure you this man is my sworn brother! As for potential theft, as you can see I have nothing worth stealing….and if I did, I would gladly share all I had with my brother equally without being asked.”

The dark man spoke: “Are you wearing a hammer around your neck, lady?”

The woman replied proudly “Why yes, I am! It’s a symbol of my faith and the traditions of my ancestors!”

The dark man replied “Well then!  I suppose you should know that without me, that symbol would not exist.”

The woman twisted the hammer in her hands uncertainly and said “If that is true, I was taught not to trust you- you are evil and cruel, and will be the downfall of everything and of our people.”

“Is that what you have been taught and have been teaching your children?” asked the old man…

Both the man and woman assented.

The old man looked to his brother and said, “It seems our trip to America has been wasted,  we have come looking for our family and we have found no one….for this has happened in every home we have visited.”

With that, the old man bowed low and removed his hat- two ravens flew from beneath: and it could be seen, now, that the old man had only one eye…. one of the hounds howled revealing sharp teeth.

As the couple stared as the old man, the wolves, and his brother walked away never to return.

Time Theory, Heathenry, and Past Suffering

Posted in About me, Justice, On the Gods, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2013 by Tyrienne

AA036979Of all the religions I have come into contact with during the course of my studies, to me, Buddhism is the most incomprehensible and at opposition with my beliefs and experience.  Please, don’t take this to mean I hate Buddhists, quite the opposite, I married a Shaolin monk for Christ’s sake- and I have been fortunate enough to meet many excellent Buddhist (or half Buddhists) over the years that have shown me the religion itself may actually be more full of kind, considerate people than any other… my favorite advisor in college was half Buddhist as well, and often, he was the best person to speak to when everything in my life was crashing down around me.  Buddhism is the belief there is no moment except for the present moment- the past is a memory, the future can only be inferred.  By living in the present moment we free ourselves from attachment to both the pains and joys of the past and also of anticipation for the future, striving, instead, to live within the present moment
One of those things that haunts me is my physical knowledge of time theory.  Picture a train, if you will- you are standing in front of one window of that train so you can see within the cabin- because you entire view of the train is limited to just seeing inside one window of the cabin, you can neither see the engine nor the caboose.
However, I want you now to picture a mountain, at the bottom of this mountain is the same train- only now from your vantage point you not only can see the train, but all the tracks, the surrounding countryside, and the entire route of the object from beginning to end.   This is time theory.  The idea that time is not linear, but rather all existent in one plane all at once (the 4th dimension) however, we can only perceive the smallest portion of it due to the lack of our perception.  However, even in the analogy of the train we find that we are dealing with two forms of perception-  Grand (Macro) or vague perception, and small (Micro) or specific perception.  From the top of the mountain, we cannot see within the cabin of the train without limit our perception of the rest of reality with a set of binoculars, nor can we perceive from the base of the mountain at the train station without similar means.

To me, this is why Sufism is such an intellectually accessible religion; in Sufism, instead of a train we have a book- some grand book that encompasses all that ever was and is to be, however, we live page by page and do not get to see this book until, MAYBE, our deaths should we have lived our lives in accordance to certain humane principles and ideals such as honesty, hospitality, charity, prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, etc.   Instead of the “Now” centeredness of Buddhism, in Sufism, we have focus on the future, and that all deeds performed in the present are entirely in preparation for some perhaps unattainable future goal.

Heathenism, surprisingly enough, appears to be unique in lacking a present focus in favor of both past and future- our rituals are focused on the values and accomplishments of our ancestors, where our deeds are meant to sow the seeds for the future- making us rather cross-eyed in the present as an entirety of a people.   This makes perfect sense to me, having PTSD because I feel the affects of the actions of myself and others from the past vividly daily in the form of flashbacks; however, I also strive to live a pure and honorable life in the present- which is actually made easier by being Lokean/Tyrian rather than more difficult because both my nature of being Lokean and my Tyrian ethics keep my circle of people I interact with commonly small either out of fear of me or by my repulsion of them.   I love Heathenry because there is no credo of accepting “everyone” there are people who are not worthy of my time or presence, and also, there are people who receive no benefit from my existence either.   This truth is missing from other world religions- this is not to say to be inhospitable- far from that, however, after introductions are made and the nature of the person is assessed; we are given the choice to either continue to allow them to affect our wyrd or orlogg (which I will spell every imaginable way in this post) or to avoid them.   9 out of 10 times my choice is avoidance- humans lie, they cheat, they abuse others and they do not care about the consequences of their selfishness- they intentionally inflict pain and act with cruelty then justify their actions by claiming to be part of some sub culture or another, or worse, their Godly nature allows for certain breaches.   In my case, the pain and damage I cause is by being a truth-teller…. not exactly the sort of person you want at your parties, and worse, I am a truth teller with a selective memory so that whatever is unimportant falls through like a sieve where the things that “stick” nag at me for months until they are released via this blog into the open so I can remove the metaphorical itching of witnessing the pains caused by others- how they can act in ways I personally find appalling and would never commit myself and yet, people avoid that elephant in the room with our still-puritanical politeness of decades of Christian indoctrination into our American culture.

Until “Hey, you’re an asshole.” is as acceptable now as it was back in some indeterminate ancestral halcyon time we all seem to claim- the Lokean and the Tyrians will continue to be the least desirable among all Heathens to share a horn with- Lokean truth is seen as disruptive- and outside of leadership roles, the judgements of those who follow Tyr come across as overly harsh an insensitive- if not Neanderthalic in black/white reasoning of what constitutes the good and the bad- the line is clear.    (Which should be to be expected considering records of Tyr predate records of Woten by at least 6000 years, according to Wikipedia)  With Tyr, the line is clear- cheating is always “bad”, whereas being initially hospitable to all people upon first meeting them is “good” until they are proven unworthy of it…should they prove unworthy, they are to be avoided until sufficient progress is made on the part of the offending party to make amends; but more often then not- the severing of ties is permanent- for the more you beg, the more pathetic and useless you are viewed so reconciliation cannot be “bought”; but must be proven by inherent worth to the community at large to once again regain favor…if then.   (Anton LeVay and Tyr would have an interesting relationship, for instance- for where their ideologies meet- they meet exactly, but where they differ, there could not be more extreme differences in point of view….worth a different post, perhaps)

So, anyway back to time theory.  So here we have the proof of physicist and philosophers that time is merely an a-priori perception of the mind, that we cannot see more than three pieces of the puzzle called “life” at a time, and those pieces we have labeled our “past, present, and future”.  The Buddhist is to sit on the piece that is “present” and ignore all else; the Sufi is to discard the past, use the present, keep their eyes on the future for a pleasant afterlife (all monotheistic faiths are similar in this regard), and the Heathen falls into the the trap of ignoring the present moment being stuck with one foot in the past and the other focused on the future- lending ourselves to a faith that is overall confused on a National and International level as those who favor the past are called “Folkish” and those who look forwards almost to the exclusion of the past are labeled “Universalists”  However, in both sets of Heathen practice we find that it is commonly believed that our present actions, especially during sumbel/blot/ritual are timeless and can positively affect the luck/wyrd/oorlog of the past and that of our ancestors by how well we live our lives this moment.

If I were to take my troubled mind out of the equation of my life, I lead an exceptionally blessed existence,  I have a handsome and loving husband, I not only do not have to work, but I am not permitted to on account of illness, I am free, I am well provided for, have companionship of good animals and people- and even a few reliable, honorable family members I can relate to.  However, my mental condition consistently traps me in past experiences and hurts me relentlessly- I am not haunted so much by things I did or did not do-thankfully, I live a life with few regrets, however, I am haunted by lack of proper foresight in those past situations that allowed for my life to spin wildly out of control as I could not step out of the way in time of the train bearing down on the tracks.  Metaphorically speaking, I have been hit by several trains-  lesson learned is to stop playing on the tracks- which, for the most part I have.  If “playing on the the tracks” is interacting with unstable people, then after 31 years of experience, I have finally learned to determine that everyone is unstable to a degree and that the only people worth interacting with are the ones who can fully embrace their own madness with honesty-(throw decorum out the window, please.)   The harder we strive to hide our inner chaos and madness, the harder it bears down upon us and those in our lives- to the point at which some people will even sacrifice innocent peoples lives and reputations to maintain their own facades of dignity and faux-decorum.  This is called gas-lighting, and is often employed by narcissists and sociopaths.  Be very, very careful about the person who desires recognition, fame, money, or achievement- often, that is indicative of a sickness that can drown and maim even the strongest of men around them; in the pursuit of such meaningless accomplishments or feats- integrity and honor often fall by the wayside as other needs are not met and vices are procured to fulfill the inner emptyness that a life set on these things creates.  The vacuum of loss of friends as time is devoted to putting resources together to appear more impressive in exchange for false friends who only serve to boost the ego- making those who speak of moderation into the enemy.   I abhor the person who seeks grandeur for its own sake- but love the quietness of the footsteps of the person who achieves notoriety for doing good deeds for their own sake without any desire for recognition.

I write a great deal, I think, but I don’t make money off of this blog-  I do it as part of an oath I made with Tyr and by extension Loki to prove that Loki and Lokeans are human beings, not to be categorized and dismissed out of hand- just as Loki is not to be dismissed out of hand. In this journal I have shared and will continue to share my personal experiences publicly- I have nothing to hide.  I will show my prejudices- my strengths, and my short comings- but as time passes, my “public” experience of the community becomes less as I draw my shades and focus more exclusively my own life and that of my husband.  When I began this blog, I was very much “in” the community and a consistent attender of events all over- but now, I am much more content to stay home more days often than not and enjoy the company of my new husband.  Some places have rejected us, other places we have rejected- and honestly- it’s about 50/50 as to which is which- even still, we have more invitations than we expect between the two of us, and I have more reception to this blog than I anticipated.  However, Tyr never gave me a timeline here so I have no idea if this is a “forever” thing or if one day I get to ditch this format in favor of a new chapter with a different URL where I just get to go back to simple, personal journalism once more…where I am not intentionally putting the gross details of my life out there for everyone to see.

So, anyway- the solution I have found to my present dilemma came from therapy, I am involved in something called EMDR where I am supposed to remove the emotions from the negative memories and be able to contain them away from my psyche- the only possible way this can be accomplished for me (and apparently, for most with my condition) is to focus on the living conditions of the present moment rather than the traumatic episodes of the past.   In my case, I spend a great deal of time focusing on the time I get to share with Eddie.  From the view of time theory, and from Heathenry, the reason why my life is so good at this present moment is BECAUSE I have already paid the price for it with my past.   Ed found me through another journal I used to write, and without writing we would not have our marriage.  Without keeping record online of everything I have experienced from my life in Spain to College to my poetry- I would have no record of my past except for negative memories.  However, if I take a more Buddhist approach and focus entirely on the ethic of the present moment, then I realize the need for productiveness and the sharing of my personal revelations.

Without writing, I would feel much more guilty about having such an easy life now-  I would feel more lonely, and I would feel purposeless.  If not a single person reads this blog but my husband- I am fine with that.   However, since I know that is not the case let me tie all the loose ends together into a format that makes this coherent to the rest of those who read my rambling thoughts…

PTSD- (Tyr is likely the God most accustomed to it outside the Rokkr), forces one to live in the past-  however, the past is not detached from the present or future.  The “present” is simply a term for the point of view or perspective we hold on our lives at the present moment, or what “eyes” we use to view our lives-  are we viewing remotely or intimately?  Do we look at the greater picture or the minute details of our daily experiences, (if we pay attention to our daily experiences at all…?)

The view from the mountain is lovely, but we miss detail- and although the details of the train are captivating, if we are standing on the tracks to look in the window of one train, anticipating boarding it, we risk being run down by another on a faster track if we do not watch where we place our feet.

The solution is mindfulness- the ability to live, right now, and in the present- to not focus on anticipation or to dwell in regrets OR past glory.   If life is good RIGHT NOW- then it is fair to say you earned the right to that goodness.   If your life RIGHT NOW is chaos, then it is fair to say that you have been negligent and the sum of that negligence is insecurity.   When I look at the times of my life when things were at their worst, it has meant one of two things:

1. This is only a test- make it through this and things will get better.
2. I have ignored all the warning signs and gone “my own way” despite the advice of those wiser than I, leading me into untenable situations…. to get out, I need to extract myself carefully, live ethically, and all will be okay in the eventual future.

Whether or not I am “Okay” at this time is dependent on my state of mind; always, I am materialistically okay; but I have been homeless, lived in an unfinished concrete and drywall room with nothing more than a spare lightbulb- or by the charity of strangers for food and the roof over my head.   I got through those times by a great deal of prayer, sacrifice (including my entire altar to a lake at one point- 15 years of my life- given to four cardinal directions of water)  It took patience, it took waiting. suffering, and asking for help, even when asking for help meant becoming estranged from those I cared for (who, I had to accept, were NOT helping).  It was a matter of putting aside my pride and TALKING both in writing and out loud about what was happening and had happened…. realizing that as long as I use my voice, as long as there is a record of my thoughts and my writings, then it’s a lot easier to clear up misunderstandings, and MUCH harder for people to lie about who I am and where I stand for their own personal gain.

Writing in journals like this has saved my life, my degrees, and my reputation in some regards- everything I write is honest to the best of my perceptions, and keeping records of what I have thought, said, and believed shows a progression.  No one person is supposed to stay stagnant, and, ideally, my favorite people are the ones who admit to striving to learn something new, experience something new, or do something to further their intellectual and spiritual growth daily- even if it just means watching a movie they have never seen before on Netflix or taking a new way home from work.

Time theory at one time lead me to an institution for 10 days, because my life was so fucked up I couldn’t understand why and how if there is no “reality of serial time” that I could suffer so miserably at that moment.   I suffered because either I was either not living in the present and mourning the past too acutely, or that I could not see the larger picture that time had to offer- the Heathen way- that perhaps I brought it on myself by not being as Tyrian (honest) as I should have been, and in lying to save another person, I had ruined my own Wyrd for that moment.

My life improved when I stopped trying so hard to protect a man not worth my protection, by bringing Tyr’s influence back into my life into a place of prominence where I could once again claim with honesty I was no liar.  It involved a great deal of pain; and still, my honesty causes me loss of friends- however, I have lived the other way. I have lied for who I thought was a friend and almost lost my literal life over it….by placing the needs of a narcissist above my own without the consciousness of realizing I was doing so.  I was told by Loki to protect my professor, and I did.  I saved his life by speaking up and preventing him from being assassinated in Turkey.  My responsibility was not to lie for him to cover up why he was not properly doing his job, nor was it to lie to make him appear better than me and disgracing myself in favor of his reputation when he was the one who was behind on our joint work, not I.

Should I have listened to my inner instincts, I would have known lying at all is never the correct solution to anything at all- and even with the best of intentions, one lie can damage the Wyrd severely.

Kant was wrong in that regard, bad actions with good intentions still lead to ultimately negative outcomes.  Furthermore, there is no such thing as a negative intention- there is reactionary intentions, sure.  But few set out intentionally to cause harm without reason or purpose.  With that being said, if the action is good, the result will likely follow to be good as well.

Be productive
Be Honest
Live in the present
See life from both the micro and macro perspectives
Be frithful
and be grateful and happy for what you have been blessed with.

…and if you can’t bear to raise the horn to Loki- raise it to Woten.  Loki gets some of that honor anyway.
…and if you cannot raise the horn to Tyr in good conscious, realize you fucked up massively in life and need to do some serious self assessment.