The Failure of SE Pennsylvania Heathenry.

It began with Loki.

Not being as media-tuned in as most I was not aware that most people had a negative view on Loki as a Norse God. I was new to the public Heathen community and most people I encountered, without reservations, were quick to support me in private that they, too gave Loki his due.

I imagined that acceptance would occur in time, and it did- starting with communities I never met halfway across the country- from Europeans who never found a problem with Him who write such eloquent articles of their own in support of the God of Hard Truths.

Then…it became something else. Several people left the community for a myriad of reasons, then a young man died and the groups got all re=stirred once more- a rallying that lasted for maybe two or three years of people resorted into new “houses” so to speak to try and compensate for a loss via suicide that really, none of us could compensate for.

Heathenry in South Eastern Pennsylvania has a resurgence, well, because Danny died in his 20’s. Just young enough, well known enough, and beloved enough to try to make good in his name.

Eventually, the bond over that loss deteriorated as well- and it became a matter of conveniences instead of honor.

It is so much more CONVENIENT for the current steersman of the Troth, Robert L. Schweier to allow my husband to be called a “rapist” by one of his members and to allow me to be banned from all their events for refusing to stand for it any longer.

It is more “convienant” for the AFA- in equal lunacy, to call my husband a “necromancer” and stand by this as if it were a scientific fact instead of the lunatic bullshit that it truly is.

My old kindred? All on meth. Every last one of those assholes is on methamphetamine and when I asked for help from both local national organizations Rob said it was my “responsibility”, and yet, to the AFA’s credit it was the local folkbuilder of their organization who took the burden off my shoulders.

It could have been a PR nightmare- They were well-known people now fading into obscurity quietly.

However, Pubmoots? My husband attempted to attend and was literally accused of “Witchcraft”…that somehow, someway- he had “beguiled” people into talking to him instead of the angry people in the corner.

He attended to see if it was safe for me to attend. I have anxiety issues. Evidentally, it will NEVER be safe for me to attend.

If not necromancy or glamours…what next? Hexes? Evil Faeries?

To give credit where it is due- Cliff, our local AFA rep is a stand up guy who works incredibly hard to bring honor to his organization and to the Heathen religion.

To the credit of the Troth- Rob does do an incredible job in outreach and dispelling misconceptions that Heathens are nothing more than racist assholes.

But to both organizations? Your organizations both equally suck for community.

The slights of the AFA are so patently ridiculous in their 11th century accusations that the thought of attending their events is about as sound and rational idea as wearing a pentagram to a Revival.

To the AFA- My spouse and I are literally the Satan that does not exist.

To the Troth, I am “troublesome” because I defended myself against false allegations from a woman who is on her third abusive marriage wrecking her way like a bowling ball through yet another organization- like she has done time and again.

Does it matter that we have much to contribute and we desire a sense of community and connection? Not really- we would have to compromise our honesty and personal integrity too much to be benign enough to be in the Troth…

…and we find it too tiresome to contradict the outrageous claims of local AFA members that we can raise the dead. (I wish we could, our lawn would be neater and I expect better meals depending on whose corpse we can manage to raise).

AFA: There is no such thing as necromancy. We do not “psychically ruin” your meetings- that is your own delightfully acerbic personalities.

Troth: My husband is not a rapist, has never even had the police called on him. Banning me for “attacking” my accuser online when my pleas to have the issue discussed publically and dismissed (for Ed never even had the police show up- or even call him once!) shows so little decency and honor on your part I cannot recommend your organization except to the most mundane, milktoasts examples of humanity remotely interested in Odinism.

As for the people who claimed to be “friends” but cannot defend us? How are you even Asatru? It’s really trendy to bandy about terms of “Honor” and “Hospitality” when the unspoken subtext is “As long as you keep the status quo”

You wonder why you are surrounded by incompetence, I am sure.

You wonder why you cannot find anyone who has the time, education, or drive to really put effort into the local Asatru community as much as you do.

Well…you already drove all the good people away. Few people I know who I get along with as Heathens (with some few exceptions) want anything to do with the local communities because they are toxic.

There is no place to take grievances. Just boards of people who make decisions without even asking questions.

And speaking of questions….I was in the same psychiatric facility as one of the AFA leaders. I was in for PTSD/suicide- and I was visited by the AFA; It was comforting to know that female leader for our area was in the same ward I was… but yet my mental health is called into question as some sort of “proof” against me.

So…if it is used agaisnt me- how is it not used against her? She was in the Dementia ward. I tried to commit suicide. Feel free to beat up on me for feeling suicidal in my life. I am not so certain most people have not been suicidal at some point.

Then- out of everyone I have seen, the only people I tend to even wish I could associate with at this point of time locally are either just as jaded as I am or so wrapped up in trying to remain “likable” that they have no time to even lend basic service to the friendship and good feeling they have for us.

The Heathen community in Pennsylvania is built on lies and idiocy by people who barely graduated high school. People who run most clergy programs have no ecclesiastic training (where my husband and I both do)

This post isn’t meant to make me friends…but thanks to social media I can explain why I am not involved and express my discontent and bitterness in this season where people are gearing up for all kinds of heathen festivals and such- why we no longer attend. Yes. It stings.

Even outcasts like to feel a sense of community.

Being called Necromancers and allowing those to leverage false claims against my spouse with no reprisal against THEM…but instead reprisal against me is not Heathenry.

It’s a group of little dress up social clubs which have no actual bearing on Odinist values unless they fall in line with the “feel good” feeling of belonging, and thereby excluding, all people that although may be honest- are seen as “undesirable” because we point out the rips in the seams.

Your fly-by-night members who waltz in and out of your communities may even increase- but will they be Heathen or just looking for the next new thing?

As for me- I have given up on finding local fellowship or community. Rob is too busy trying to keep everyone happy, happy, happy…

And Cliff, to yet that I’ve seen, has yet to tell the AFA that Necromancy is just fucking ludicrous to accuse people of.

This is our Heathen community of South Eastern Pennsylvania. The very best, most inclusive, least amount of drama community open to Heathens in Eastern Pennsylvania is run by Wiccans in Lehigh Valley of Silver Ravenwolf’s Black Forest tradition.

As much as I do not care for her writings- I can say that her organizational structure seems to be superior in weeding out the unethical and the hurtful- and the public outreach to pagans of all stripes is phenomenal.

It is a real shame I am not a Wiccan or I would consider joining up- but sadly for you, my Gods are the Gods of Germany and the Northlands- I have explored other religions and this is my home.

No matter how much I am shown that other people wish this were not true- take that up with the Gods themselves and ask them why they continue to guide my existence when the people who claim the same Gods would much rather I fade into obscurity as they drive harder for more membership and more happy-dress-up-time-sumbels.

I could not even find enough people I still respect enough locally to hold sumbel with if I wanted to.

So, I ask, If Heathenry is all about fellowship- and my Gods believe it was so important that I have this calling- then why has every organization and group let me down so tremendously?

Why has my honesty been cast into the dust by the Troth in favor of “We support Oathed in members no matter what” over Truth?

Why is Necromancy even considered a valid accusation by the AFA?

It is not longer amusing to see your members freeze in terror to see my spouse at normal places like the supermarket or gas station. You are foolish children in Reading in the clothing of the adults you pretend to be.

To the Open Halls and events- yes- you may be open, but what protection do I have against AFA locals with their outlandish claims of supernatural powers to destroy we allegedly possess or the Troth people who believe that I am some rabid animal because I really do not take kindly to my husband being accused of Rape, by a woman who claims it not even for herself- but for someone OUSTED BY THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY FOR BEING A LYING, CHEATING, SLUTWHORE who was not only kicked out of Heathenry, but also ousted from Black Forest much more quickly.

There. I said it.

As for my husband’s ex-kindred. They killed a friend of mine in favor of a wedding and were the main perpetrators of keeping SLUTWHORE nice and protected. Everyone in that group is a piece of shit, but, as long as they can keep up the facade of being “nice and easy to get along with” for short periods of time, they will continue to be tolerated.

I now have two dead, heathen friends. One was a suicide, one was neglected by the community who promised to care for him but instead allowed him to die of the fucking flu.

I am Heathen- I’m not a fucking Christian, and “forgiveness” is not a virtue I honor. Truth is, however.

You will keep forgiving your REAL adulterers and giving them your full support; you will continue to beg for people to help with Pagan Pride when, really, South Eastern Pennsylvania has nothing to be proud about.

For those of my readers who live in better regions of the country, feel blessed to be surrounded by honest, likeminded people. Love your communities, love your friends and your families. I envy you in Wisconsin, Alaska, and the Pacific North West.

Here- there is power to be gained and kept- and to keep that power a few people need to be walked on to maintain the positions on the popularity charts.

Here is to you jackasses; someday, may we find honest folk (not on meth) like us so we can look back at all of you as a bad memory so we can appreciate good people where and when we ever find them.

Ed’s belt holds the Distlefink-Troth flag to this day.

There is so much symbolism and bitter irony in that one small detail.

P.S. I screen the comments. My wall. Fuck you.

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3 Responses to “The Failure of SE Pennsylvania Heathenry.”

  1. Damn. Fuck them. Southern Maryland ain’t perfect… but… damn.

  2. People constantly remind me they suck…so much commiseration… Outcast by choice at this point.

  3. Sheila Gilliam Says:

    Having little to no Heathen (or Pagan) community in my area, I long for a community of like-minded people and camaraderie. However, I also know most people just suck, and more than likely just pretending or “posing” so I’m probably better of remaining solitary and staying true to myself and my Gods. Keep fighting and doing great things sister!

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