Chaplaincy into Urglaawe….

Hel/Holle  (Artist Susan Boulet)

Hel/Holle (Artist Susan Boulet)

Did you know I’m a chaplain? I mean, a real one.  I spent four years in college enrolling at the age of 28 to get two four year college degrees.
During this time, I also took additional classes and minor certifications offered by a couple ENTIRELY DIFFERENT religions in seminar form.

When I am not writing this blog, I spend the majority of my time volunteering myself online for spiritual counseling at anytime I am online, 100% for free.  Even if my religion had the money to pay every Heathen who was a chaplain (and we do not work like that) it goes against our rules for clergy anyway.   Traditional payment is the honor of being able to do it, and secondarily, practical things like “food” or “weeding my herb garden- but that’s okay, you can have whatever you need from it”.    So, for all my bad days, my illnesses physical and neurological*-  I realize that being on SSDI is actually pretty much the only way to contribute as much as I do in form of talking to others, writing articles, responding to questions, and correcting misinformation in a way to me that is fulfilling and spiritual.

It is how I have reconciled that someone who USED to be a type A overachiever is now on SSDI (Disability)- and it seems to be the only way I can find peace without guilt within these circumstance.

How do people find me?  I have no idea, but they start to talk…and then I say “Hey, it’s okay, I’m a chaplain- I’m bound by law to keep your life confidential.”

I even run into those “sticky places” that Christian clergy run into where several people confide things that are deeply dangerous such as incest, abuse, or suicide.   It’s amazingly difficult to spend four hours pleading with someone to speak to call 9/11 without betraying the trust put into your station by doing so myself.   It’s really fucking hard- but I don’t regret doing it.  If it takes four hours- that is four hours where your problems were important enough to receive personal attention, to be listened to, and not judged….which I cannot promise would not happen in a police station or hospital….and I’m here for follow up.

So, for all the religions I have studies, I chaplain qualify per county under different forms.

1.  I have a congregation of people for whom I provide religious services regularly along with other clergy who can verify.
2.  Or, I have been recognized by national organizations as being a person to provides these services
3.  Or, some counties?  “Hey! I have a BA in Religion from one of the highest ranked Religion BA colleges in the country!”

There is only one thing that remains- and that is “guided experience” in a hospital, hospice, or prison setting….  I’m not quite up to that quite yet.  Some places require a 3 month course, some, just “Have fun!” as they shut the door behind you and you write reports. >.<

No matter what anyone says about me, no matter what opinion of me- good or bad- they cannot take away my education, my experiences, nor can they change the fact that my title is “Chaplain”.   Much like there are “Writers” and “Artists”.   You can hate a popular author such as Neil Gaiman, but can you challenge the idea that he is an Author?

The religion I follow is Heathenry-  That is our “Equal, overlapping title” like Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, etc.    The interesting thing about Heathenry is there are just SO many types of us worldwide, and we are coming back stronger every day.   Every year, new kindreds are formed in countries around the world.

We never recruit- unless noticing the huge “WOTEN” tattoo in runes on your fore arm counts as recruiting- but we are growing.  That’s huge!  That’s amazing!

It puts us in a religious categorical definition somewhere between the Monotheists (Abrahamic) and the Indigenous (Yoruba, Strega, Voodoun, Yazidi, Dievic).   We believe being “called” to the Gods is not in our hands….it’s just our job to help you when you get here.

For people of other religions who speak to me?  I will never convert you to my spirituality.   It is my job as a chaplain to learn as much about YOUR religion as possible before I even meet you.  I should be able to use your own faith to comfort you, as well as have verses and reassurances memorized of your own sacred texts/phrases.   I have been really inspired by the work of Caleb Wilde, funeral director-  there really is not much transparency in either calling; in both and there is also always a VERY fine line of what is “Free to share”.

As a chaplain, you look at your friends list and realize it’s filled with other religious professionals, medical professionals, psychologists (Ha! Because it pisses you off to be labeled separately from “medical professionals”!), current and former military, government employees, EMT’s, firefighters, and police.

Mostly, you can organize everyone of those group as “Holy fuck, you won’t believe what I just saw/heard- and you live in another country/state and know absolutely no common aquaintances and if I don’t scream about this I will go insane.”   Mostly, I get to be the recipient of that, and that’s pretty cool, actually. I am absolutely full of stories I am forced to forget….which is pretty easy with the C-PTSD; my short term memory is legitimately less impressive than the average goldfish.

So, no.  I likely don’t remember the time when you did that thing, it doesn’t mean I don’t care…. you will just need to start the narrative of how “That thing” impacts the present.  No Biggie {said Tupac…Ha! Joke!}

Anyway, this post started out with the title “Writing a lot, not posting”- because I am currently working very hard at becoming more dedicated to Urglaawe, my “line” of heathen descent… which is pretty amazing considering the obscurity and the processes involved.

So, I want to be a Braucher, a public one eventually- so I am training to be one.  In this training I have been going through a great deal of changes.  But the problem with being Deitscherei is that I don’t know what is “polite” to keep to myself at this point- especially since the opportunity to enter into this formally came at the perfect timing:  right before family death and crisis.

The world of Pa Deitsch mysticism deals very strongly with ancestors, and my father’s side has raised me unequivocally with the belief that the human spirit can “stick around” for the purpose of helping/guiding others across….or doing the “honorable” thing and “staying with the Family” after death. We have Christians and Heathens in my extended family; and outside of my dad, NO ONE likes to talk about it much.  But they do, reluctantly.

Also, in this time it’s pretty safe to say I’m about to buy a house.  A house that when I first looked at it, I had no idea was part of my family’s ancestral land.   Since the beginning of the moving process, my family has opened up considerably about the spiritual traditions outside of Christianity, and if I didn’t read the books on Braucherie, I wouldn’t have come to the realization my family is “opening up” in this way only because their spirits are tied to this particular blessed land between two Deitsch-sacred mountains now in Reading, Pa.  The town may no longer be incorporated, but this is MY area-  I’m in Exeter, between Alsace and Mount Penn- and this is where my lines settled in the 1700’s (earlier, if you count the Indian-Settler marriages).

Although I tried and failed for years, I am reconnecting with my extended paternal family again- and I feel needed.

So, everything I’ve been writing/want to write are about these amazing experiences I’ve had….but on the other hand, I feel the strong desire to connect with the other Deitsch I know to see how my family “works” is “typical” or “atypical”….and if it is “typical”- then I will need to research the already completed research on the topics I’ve written about and tie-in my experiences with the greater Urglaawe/Deitsch culture of our old, rather inbred, peaceful Pa Deitsch heritage.

I can do only so much from my family resources alone…it’s figuring out how our Swiss/Austrian/German family faith vaguely fits with the others after so many years of silence and forced separation.  Yes, that happened in the USA- Pa Deitsch children in the LAST CENTURY were banned from speaking their own language! Before my time, of course, but still pretty appalling.

We aren’t vikings. We are your peacekeepers- we use our words not our fists.

And….with that in mind, it makes more sense why I feel so close to both Tyr and Loki.  Loki is the Clever One, He is industrious and clever- he will take the largest knot and make a mess of loops for days until he finds the other end- but in the end- life is better than it was before.  It’s like he takes that knotted thread and not only unties it, he makes it valuable….it’s just the “messy” part that people get concerned with.  However, sometimes, a house isn’t clean if you don’t start with your closets and under the bed- most people clean by shoving things INTO such places.

People who don’t like Loki are the same people with the the most psychologically “full closets”.   Clean conscious and clear altruistic intentions keep Lokean friends from harming you with “chaos” (we don’t harm you, we just make you feel uncomfortable by our existence….we really cannot help it.)

Tyr- is a just judge, a strict moral advocate, and a stern teacher,  “Do you know your motivation for this action, and is it Ethical?”   His disapproval is like letting down your grandparents, favorite teacher, coach, and sensei/sifu at the same time.  Gods really are “More Than” humans-  I follow Tyr because I want to learn from Him, and I guess you can say I seek approval.   There is no shame in trying to be a good student. You don’t kneel before your grandpa- you don’t kneel to the Gods, either.

Ironically, only the Urglaawe put any emphasis on Zisa, Tyr’s wife….who is literally the Goddess of “undoing knots”.

And now- I have to get to know my Husband’s Goddess better, because Hel/Holle is the Patron of the Deitsch, and in her World, my Gods are in the minor pantheons of “family gods” moreso than someone like Thor/Donar or Frigg.

So…that’s why I haven’t been posting much.  It’s been weird, folks.  But I promise when/if I do post these “limbo drafts” I will release them on a weekly basis so as not to annoy anyone.

*However, speaking of illness- I’m having an infected vestigial organ removed hopefully as soon as possible.  I am thinking of deleting the quicklink to wordpress on my bar until I’m off of hallucinatory painkillers. 🙂

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2 Responses to “Chaplaincy into Urglaawe….”

  1. Get well, Tyrienne, I wish it all go fast and without any hiccups, and very soon!

    • Thanks! I’m not upset about it- I’ve had very similar procedures in the past. All I hope for is no doctor argument and for them to remember to look at my allergy bracelet this time. 🙂

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