***APRIL FOOL’S DAY!****

Mr. T

Gotcha!

The creators of “Cards Against Humanity” approved my request to be the author of the new “Official Heathen & Asatru Expansion” soon to be offered for free in .pdf on their website! They want me to submit a total of 200 cards for them to choose the best 50 or 60 from for the new expansion. This set will NOT stand alone from the original game- the original cards will be required for this expansion to “work”. These are the 50 I submitted to them as a sample…but I need to come up with more (I welcome suggestions!):

Black Cards:

1. Hail ______!
2. In apology to the Heathen community for the historical inaccuracies in the “Thor” franchise, Stan Lee has agreed to create a character based on the president of the Asatru Folk Assembly to be played by _____.
3. Kaldera farms will be celebrating _____ with _______!
4. The Troth is _____!
5. Folkish Heathens: We are not racists, We are _______.
6. My Patron God/dess is _______.
7. ______ brought ______ to the Faining.
8. _____ will unite the entire Heathen community at last!
9. The Sumbel will be held entirely in ________.
10. The difference between the Wiccans and the Asatru is ______.
11. My favorite Rune represents _____.
12. This regrettable tattoo of _____ was meant to represent _________.
13. I will never join any National organization since I do not agree to_______.
14. The amount of furries in Heathenry is directly proportional to ________.
15. I was kicked out of the National Heathen Gathering because of ________.
16. I found Asatru in prison via _______.
17. I converted from _______ to this?
18. Viking Death Metal is awesome except for the ______.
19. The latest in Heathen video blogging concerns _______.
20. ______ HAS NO HONOR!
21. ______ Oathed to ______ at Sumbel, do you think they will poison the Well of Wyrd?
22. YOU CAN NOT CALL IT A “BLOT” WITHOUT _______!
23. He died by _____. See you in Valhalla, brother.
24. I read the “Edda’s”, “The Hamaval”, and ______. I know what I am talking about!
25. The Gods have asked me to _____ so I am ________.

White Cards:

1. A murder of ravens….and some wolves.
2. A Kindred named after a house in “Game of Thrones.”
3. A well-armed Odinist with nothing left to lose.
4. Converting to Asatru after watching the show “Vikings.”
5. Giving Tyr a hand.
6. Several Ugly Virgins Claiming to be Godspouses.
7. Lederhosen and Kilts.
8. Two federal agents desperately trying to maintain their cover by Twittering obscenities against “The Man” to each other.
9. Lokeans, Rokkr’s, and Jotunatru.
10. Hanging upside down from a tree and losing your eye in a well….on purpose.
11. It’s 4/20!
12. Reclaiming the Swastika as a holy symbol of our people.
14. Spelling obscenities in the runes of the Elder Futhark.
15. White Pride.
16. Mead distilled from Honey, Psilocybin, Peyote, and Wormwood.
17. Knowing nothing about 1488.
18. A Marveltru mistaking wet dreams for UPG’s.
19. Death by Kub.
20. FUCK YOU-I’M MOVING TO ICELAND!!!!!
21. Licking Hitler’s asshole.
22. Someone desperately trying not to act racist.
23. The Northern Gods.
24. Universalists and Universalism.
25. The difference between Heathens and Asatruar.

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2 Responses to “***APRIL FOOL’S DAY!****”

  1. I think you need to add mead making things in. Something about drinking horns. Maybe some blacksmithing jokes. Maybe our women are manly then your men thingy.

    Aka make it a tad bit edgier.

    • …. I consider myself gender-neutral mentally, so I try not to perpetuate gender dichotomy in any way. But thanks for the suggestions! 🙂

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